#first two options are both v sad films

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Babes help me decide:

[bakingblues]

Thank you to @sl0wdiver for the tag! <3 I tag @justkisa @serve-cunt @mysticaltramping @moregraceful @jenkinsknope <3

1. Do you make your bed?

Absolutely!

2. Favourite number?

13 because it's my birthday.

3. What's your job?

It's really just emails!

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

Christ, no. I like the idea of learning more, but not in a structured educational environment. I want to go to courses and learn how to spin yarn, I want to be taught how to read tarot, I want to know the name of every plant and flower I see on my river walks. Just not in a school please.

5. Can you parallel park?

Barely, but if there is no other option I'll give it a whirl and humiliate myself and everyone watching. The other year I had to park V's car and was making such a hash of it our neighbour peered in to see if I was okay, we were both so embarrassed.

6. Do you think aliens are real?

It seems unlikely they aren't.

7. Can you drive a manual car?

I hate driving anything but a manual car.

8. Guilty pleasure?

When you get to my age no pleasure is guilty and you learn to embrace the joy in everything that makes your heart swell.

9. Tattoos?

I have two Jimmy Eat World tattoos and one Alkaline Trio one. It's not that I regret any of them per se, but the Jimmy one on my ankle I wish I'd chosen different lyrics and different font.

10. Favourite colour?

Yellow!

11. Favourite type of music?

I mostly listen to pop punk, punk rock, pop, and sad girl singer songwriters.

12. Do you like puzzles?

I like doing crosswords with V whilst we're cooking and with E & M & R curled up on a sofa in R's living room.

13. Any phobias?

Trypophobia is the closest I have. I get very very uncomfortable, especially if the holes are photoshopped onto the human body.

14. Favourite childhood sport?

I played netball a lot until I started to be bullied and then quickly stopped.

15. Do you talk to yourself?

Hmm, yes.

16. Tea or coffee?

Earl Grey tea. Weak, no milk and no sugar, please!

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

I honestly cannot remember. For a very short minute I'd wanted to be a horologist and I wish I'd pursued that.

18. What movies do you adore?

My absolute favourite film is unironically The Devil Wears Prada.

[shesawriter39049]

|UNWRAP ME| M|

Pairing : Jimin X Reader (Ft a lil Tae)

“There’s a bow on my panties because my ass is a present!”

About- Honestly, you were just trying to prep gift bags for your company’s holiday party! But Jimins stressed, and needs a little brain reset sooo….I guess we’re prepping gift bags later!

Or- The company has quite a few deadlines to hit before you guys close for the holiday! Jimin’s in charge of talent and everybody’s fucking up…but in your line of work it’s a domino affect! So if his crew falls behind ultimately everybody’s behind! Hints Jimin’s stress and frustration....

WC: Sneak peek (1k)

WARNINGS: (FULL THING): Teasing, light edging, dirty talk, top/bottom OC, top/power bottom Jimin, hand restraints, unprotected sex, over stimulation, fingering (F receiving), biting/marking kink, VERY light degration kink (he playfully calls her a “little bitch/slut” once) light come play, light spanking

FINAL NOTE: This is a stand alone smut drabble within my OT7 poly universe called “7 DEEP”. Short AU SUMMARY: Your husband Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in an open relationship with! P.S. If you’re new here Kookie joins the party a little later….

*Pierced Jimin/Red haired “Dope” Era Jimin meets 2020 Jimin!?

*Also it should go without being said but Jimin, IS Westernized, he’s from LA in this ffs!

*In true Rocki fashion I decided to do holidy prompts late af & did not finish in time for the main Holiday but w/e! Note, there is some backstory here bc this was set to be the 1st of 3 holiday prompts!** ___________________________________________________

Sunday, December 14TH, 4PM 

“Alright, so you wanna hear some bullshit?!”

K, well that’s apparently Jimin, musing around a mouth full of fries! I love how no one even bothers to knock, give notice they just show the fuck up! Whenever...

Cute.

I swear it sounds like your running a damn liquor store because there’s an obnoxious amount of bells and mistletoe hanging above the door almost acting as a doorbell at this point. Just casually Fa-la-laing together, echoing throughout your entire apartment every damn time the door opens! Honestly, your slowly regretting giving Jin and Tae free reign with decorations because that shits annoying as all hell!

Gaze still focused on your original task, not even looking in his direction “Don’t trip over the-“ There's a loud thud, followed by an obscene groan, accompanied by an even louder “Fuckkk!” Which solidified he did in fact trip over the ....

“....Box with Jin’s other Christmas tree in it ...” The words kinda died off your tongue at this point because well, clearly the warning did not fare well! “If anything’s broken I’m totally snitching just so we’re clear” Sassing over a half empty glass of spiked eggnog.

Now that you’ve finally looked at him, you find yourself hiding a smirk behind your cocktail as well! The boy is fine, you’d give him that! Looking like a model off duty, in his low cut white v, neck hidden beneath a distressed leather jacket! Topping off the look with a pair of chunky combats and disrespectfully tight dark wash denim jeans! I swear they damn near looked painted on, aviators resting on the bridge of his nose! Gucci backpack slung over his shoulder, Starbucks in one hand, and some brown bag full of grease in the other! Jimin recently went back red, looking dangerously close to the same 18 year old you met, at UCLA almost years ago now!  Just a boujier version, it’s like this Jimin’s from Calabasas instead of the Bay! Though your down for both options if we’re being real!

Not that Jimin’s not equally as good of company as well, you were honestly just expecting Tae! The two of you were starting to put together the gift bags for next week's holiday party! Hints the hot ass mess all over the floor of your living room, it’s a disgusting pile of shopping bags and boxes! Everything from Amazon to Saks Fifth, at this point you aren’t even sure where the fuck your floor starts or ends! One thing you do know for damn sure is Hobi’s going to have an aneurysm If he sees it! Sooo, hopefully Tae shows up sooner than later...

It’s become a tradition, or at least since the companies been profitable enough to do so! First off, you’re love language has always been a combination of “Gifts” and “Acts of service, so shit like this is essentially second nature!

However, quality time has slowly slipped its way into the mix over the past couple of years as well! Especially considering it’s almost a luxury for the seven of you at this point but you try not to complain! I mean Namjoon and yourself just did an interview last week for Forbes 30 under 30 for fucks sake! But anyway, like I was originally saying this little party is your way of trying to give your staff a combination of all 3 said love languages!

Above everything else you all work your asses off well, aware this is far from a 9-5, yet they give you their best constantly! Yeah, it was built on the backs of you and your boys but it wouldn’t be were it is now without everyone else! So, with that being said the schedule is as follows! 

1.Bust ass and hit all of your year end deadlines by December 22nd. 

2.The holiday party is on the 23rd...

3. Thennnnnn....after that the companies closed until the 2nd of January! 

Well kinda, if we’re being real the 7 of you never fully stop working, but you damn sure plan to try! I guess it’s the beauty and the curse of having damn near everything accessible on your phone! I swear this morning Joon was washing your back whilst you read him the latest profit/loss update from Jin soooo......that’s that!

Everyone else however....off duty with pay!

Which brings us back to the original task at hand before Jimin showed up,prepping the gift bags that get handed out at said holiday party! The invite list is pretty exclusive honestly,outside of your staff, and there plus one, the other guests are typically the immediate crew/ talent used throughout the year on various productions! Oh, there’s also special little packages mailed out to a couple of the company's sponsors as well! So all together were looking at at least 100 gift bags give or take! Of course at this stage you guys go all out but that’s not what it’s about! It’s legitimately the thought that counts!

Little gestures like this just remind people that you care,that they’re on your mind even if they aren’t currently doing you a favor! That’s what sets Onyx apart, all the little things you do without even thinking about it! Coffee, donuts, catering on set for long shoots,or even the little kits Jimin brings with him to set for the models! Fully stocked with soothing cream, heating pads, the full nine! It’s actually sad how much of a rarity it is in your line of work! 

Obviously, it goes without saying that those types of gestures aren’t feasible for everyone....However there’s companies worth more than you that do amples less!

But anyway back to Jimin and Tae! As I mentioned when the door originally opened you were expecting a mop of silver locks as opposed to red! Baby boy ran out to pick up the custom gift bags from this Indie vendor in WeHo. Hint’s why you were expecting Tae instead, now, why Jimins here I have no damn idea! Clearly we’re about to find out and apparently it’s “Some Bullshit!”

Honestly outside of checking his OOTD you didn't truly look at him. Far too busy propped on top of your oversized dining room table sorting through a manusery of  “Thank you” cards!

Eyes flicking to the left ever so slightly as you hear him shuffle closer “I-yeah sure what bullsh-wait are you eating my DoorDash?!”

It’s the way you constantly have to remind yourself that jail will not be like Orange is in the new black! Because I swear you damn near chucked this martini glass at that fire engine red dome of his!

Jimin just shrugs, a little nonchalant and unenthusiastic, almost as if he’s inconvenienced actually...

“Mmm, depends on perspective” He deadass just stuffed two more fires in his mouth! You're literally going to strangle him! It’s borderline painful how hard  your jaw tick, eyes narrowed in his direction!

Brows arched so damn high your gonna end up needing Botox from the permanent crease embedding within your skin. “Perspect-your literally eating-“

Holding a solitary finger in your direction “Tae just text me and said look at your phone and text him back...with like, a million pouty faces. Also, different note, who changed the decorations I placed on the mantle?! “

Jimin’s hand is now resting on his hip, legitimately angry about these damn decorations! I think his neck even did a couple rolls in the process, and I’m willing to bet,before he leaves they will be swapped out again!

A frustrated groan attempts to leave your throat  though it goes unacknowledged as your lacking any ounce or bite! Far too fond of both of your boys to truly be agitated at the moment! Actually that’s a lie, you high key wanna punch Jimin but it’s fine ....

“That, would be Jin, he said they clashed with the table decor” Pointing to all of the gold, and maroon colored decorations donning the marble coffee table “So, if your pissed go curse him out because I could give less than a damn! Now where the fuck is my phoneeee”

Hopping off the table causing your oversized UCLA Alum hoodie to hike over your ass. Said ass is covered or barely covered considering your cheeky, red, ruffle little panties are in fact assless! A cute little bow perched right on top of your tailbone, as if to direct the eye where to go….

Jimin is now choking on stolen fires and yeah there’s a smirk on your face as you grab your phone!

Mmmmhmmmm...and to think, maybe if he wasn’t being such a brat you’d let him unwrap one of his gifts a little early!

“Baby now he’s calling meeee” Anddddd he’s whining, wiggling his phone like it’s on fire! Ya know, moments like these in fact remind you that Tae and Jimin are the youngest!

“Oh for fucks sake!” Huffing in his direction snatching the phone and bag of Five Guys away in the process!

“Yes baby?” It’s actually terrifying how quickly your tone, and entire demeanor just switched! Somewhat reminiscent to how you’d see a mom scold one child then baby talk another all in the same breath! 

Jimin without a doubt noticed too, lip jutting out in a pout and no matter how many times you roll your eyes you still find yourself leaning forward kissing it right off! He moans into it and you Instantly taste the tangy seasoning from your fries, especially once he tries to swipe his tongue past the seam of your lips. The feeling of that tiny piece of metal playing in his mouth almost distracted you, but alas...the notion immediately reminds you why you were irked to begin with! Without even thinking you lean back into nipping at his bottom lip, though...this is Jimin we’re dealing with here! So whatever you thought you’d achieve is now dead, because a needy little whine just rustled in the back of his throat 

Speaking of love languages,there’s another called “Physical Touch” which has the words Jimin Park written all over it. So with that being said you really should’ve already been prepared for whatever’s about to unfold.

It’s subconscious at this point, head dropping down to the crook of your neck, nosing up a vein like a neglected puppy! Squeezing your waist hard enough to damn near engrave his thumb print in against your hip bones! Well, clearly he doesn’t want you going anywhere anytime soon!   

So what do you do instead? Place the bag of food on the bar, hold the phone in one hand and bring the other up to play in his freshly dyed locks! I swear this man is a second away from purring so maybe he’s not a puppy after all. Suddenly his ring clanned fingers trickle down your spine heading south, flexing his palm to squeeze down around the swell of your ass! Shifting you forward so your chest to chest...

So, here you are trying to cater to both of your boys at once...lord help you!

“No, of course I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just busy-yes Tae. You wanna put what in a what,Now?”

~~~~~

Hiii, as I mentioned above this was kinda last minute, I wrote out prompts on the 21st, then adult life kicked in. I actually had my own little office Christmas party to plan (Nothing on this scale obviously because well, we know the way the real world is rn) However because of that I couldn’t truly work on this until the 24th. However it’s been a long time since I wrote/wanted to write so I opted to just post it anyway! Hopefully the full thing will be up by the 28th at the latest.

I have also attached the overall masterlist for this AU!

7 DEEP 

[astrologista]

jason stop dying

ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv

so let’s get into it!!! 

SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything

now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway

i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??

HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)

ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.

“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death

hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.

when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...

no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)

not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww

i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!

please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;

anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol

“True” End - Jason Dies

now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.

instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.

the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.

in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.

i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.

and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.

including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.

The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O

let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and

ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........

Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.

This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.

Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.

Jailbird Ending

basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya

If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands. 

Tim Ending!

If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!

Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol

I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.

The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up

i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.

interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok

So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up. 

If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?

Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth. 

Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.

that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.

There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....

Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.

The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!

if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better. 

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!

pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it

I think that should be all the possible endings there are.

By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.

overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.

- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.

- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.

- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.

- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess

there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!

[narilgc]

𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇 𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖: an all-ecompassing overview of how may has treated im nari.

this is something i’ve been wanting to do for a while now, but only got the motivation a few weeks ago after realizing what an eventful month my muses had ! i hope you enjoy, it’ll be divided up into different sections, with a few muse mentions. enjoy !

𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: “ i’ve been so pleased with myself recently ! i mean, i really had a hard time for the last months, not thinking i was making much progress ... now look at me ! my parents have been really proud, and now i really believe that i can make a change for them like i promised, and really support them in the future. i feel like people are starting to take me so seriously and i feel so excited about all that june has in store for me ! ”

𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒:  nari often sees herself as legacy’s weak link, as she isn’t exactly idol material skill-wise. however, after transferring to legacy agency, she’s been revitalized with a new sense of confidence and energy to keep her going. the newfound experiences that she has received are assuring her that she has the capability to succeed just as much as anyone else in the company, and for once she thinks she can be proud of herself. nari’s happiness has outweighed any fatigue she might feel with the schedules, as she is more relieved than anything to have more things to busy herself with.

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐑:

within the new sub-company, nari has begun to improve her acting skills, though she hasn’t neglected her practicing of both her singing and modeling skills.

the modeling has seemed to do her some good, as she was granted an opportunity following the april fool’s lunch to be apart of the pizza cf. she’s very excited, as it’s her first real modeling experience, and something she’s wanted to do for a long time.

she’s been shooting for the “ new faces ” series with the other actors and actresses, having a lot of fun making new friends with her company-mates ! 

alongside new faces, she’s had her shot at being apart of “ date lottery ”, in which she’s been paired with two partners, which tragically enough have been some of the first dates of her life.

nari’s evidently been seeing a lot of the camera’s lately, as her final appearance has been being a guest star of danbi’s v-live show.

the most exciting experience of all, however, has been her opportunity to not only audition for a role in cram school, but to be granted a lead role as kwon mijoo !

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒:

if it’s not for the help of friend jiae ( @lgcjiae​ ), she doesn’t know what she would’ve done ! as acting buddies, they’ve been working together to improve ... though they do get off task every now and then.

she’s been trying not to fall on her butt, as her and vlive partner eunji ( @lgceunji​ ) work to do couple yoga poses for all watching fans !

on the other hand, her and her other vlive partner jihye ( @lgcjihye​ ) will be working together as fellow actresses to perform scenes for their virtual audience.

she has another acting performance with a partner, though the one with daehyung ( @lgcdaehyung​ ) is a little more serious and with a physical audience. for the steaks !

for another episode of new faces, her and seyoon @lgcyoon​ are doing their best to not to get smacked in the face with a volleyball for a questionable challenge.

though a sad moment, she’s gotten to enjoy new face’s finale with one of her acting friends jaewoo ( @lgcjaewoo​ ), as they work the red carpet.

she’s been having her funs shooting her exciting dates with subin ( @lgcsubin​ ) and minseok ( @lgcxminseok​ ), as well as shooting for danbi’s show in which they’ve been making cute throwback outfits. ( @lgcdanbi​ ).

trying to live up to the “ self care buddy ” role she claims to be, she’s been trying her best to give friend akira an emotional pick-me-up. @lgcakira​

though there has been some trouble in paradise !! her and jane ( @lgcjaein​ ) have been butting heads a bit during practice, refusing to acknowledge they’re a lot more similar than they think.

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓:

next month is the festival, meaning that nari will have her first ever interaction with fans ! she’s very happy, as she thinks it’s her time to show off her charms that she prides herself on, as much of how people see her in the future will be left to her portrayal of characters in films, so this counts !

nari wants to improve her modeling now that she’s beginning to see it as a viable career option, so she’s going to try her best to improve that  !

she’s going to go really hard at practicing, as this role is a very big one to be her first ever professional tv role. there’s a lot of pressure so she wants to do her best.

she also wants to take her vocals more seriously, as singing is the second most important skill to her and she doesn’t want to get rusty ! it’s also something she has to be very proactive thinking about, as she does wish to pursue a musical acting career as well.

she’s going to have to learn to adjust to living on her own a bit better, as it’s proved to be a lot harder than she originally thought.

though she’s living alone, she doesn’t want to leave her friends behind, so will be making a conscious effort to solidify as well as to create new friendships.

amidst all the chaos, she really doesn’t want to forget about her parents, and has been growing a bt homesick as she wishes they could be there to see her.

[angelicthor]

the fifties

decades dance: part 1

pairing: steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes

summary:  unrequited love was painful. To have to endure it from two people was something else. Loving two super soldiers that didn’t return your feelings was agony but what if they did? Events unfold when Tony plans to throw a party for every decade Bucky and Steve missed out on.

warnings/genre: +18 only, explicit smut, angst, idiots-to-lovers

masterlist | decades dance masterlist

Unrequited love had been written about for centuries, it’s been the focus of so many art forms as one of the most painful feelings in the world. That was something you could most definitely relate to, only for you it was worse; see you weren’t just in love with one man who didn’t love you back, you were in love with two. You couldn’t really be blamed, anyone would be crazy not to fall for Bucky and Steve; Steve who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, who commanded the Avengers with finesse but remained that Brooklyn kid at heart and then there was Bucky who had suffered the most inhumane atrocities the world had ever seen and still managed to be one of the most caring gentlemen you had ever met. You loved them both for their similarities and their differences and nothing confused you more. Not to mention, they both looked like they were crafted by Gods.

It was hard, living in such close quarters to them and not being able to do anything about it. Whenever you saw Steve lounging on the sofa during movie night you wanted nothing more than to burrow into his side whilst he drew you in, wrapping you in his strong arms. When Bucky was cooking his infamous carbonara that every avenger loved, you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around his midriff, press kisses on to his back before getting stuck in and helping him. You realised quickly that your feelings weren’t diminishing anytime soon, for either of them, and that’s what made up your mind for you. You wouldn’t �� couldn’t – pursue either of them, to date one and still have feelings for the other was unfair, they both deserved someone who had their whole attention, their whole heart.

At one point, you thought maybe they reciprocated your feelings, you’d been their best friend for so long that when you started to push gently on the boundaries with them, neither of them said anything – in fact it appeared they welcomed it – and you had to remind yourself that you couldn’t have either. It just wasn’t fair, especially if they both did feel the same way, there was no way you could put yourself between Steve and Bucky. They’d been through so much to get back to each other, you couldn’t mess that up with your silly feelings. Their friendship had spanned decades and you made damn sure it wasn’t going to end because of you, and so you started to pull away – no matter how much it hurt you.  

You hadn’t spent any real time with them in months, not the way you used to. You, Bucky, and Steve used to be inseparable; watching movies together, training, hell – they even went shopping with you. You were content just to be together, Steve sketching in his art pad, you cuddled into his side reading whilst Bucky wrote in his journal, his head in your lap. Of course, there were the hard times too, nightmares plagued both Bucky and Steve but in very separate ways; Bucky would wake in a cold sweat, screaming until his throat was raw and you would come running in, he always needed to be held, cradled against you as you reminded him that he wasn’t there anymore, that HYDRA couldn’t get to him and of the freedom he gained. Steve was a different story; there was no screaming, no sweats, just your door softly opening and his broken voice calling out for you. He would crawl into your bed and feel the need to have you in his arms, he often dreamt of Bucky falling and what happened after and in typical Steve Rogers style he blamed himself. You could have sworn they were as bad as each other with the amount of guilt they carried for things out of their control. You would stay awake, fingers drawing senseless patterns on his chest as he held you close, not willing to let his guilt-ridden thoughts take over him as you murmured sweet nothings to him, his mind breaking away from everything until his breathing deepened and you knew he had fallen asleep.

It pained you how little you saw of them anymore but you knew it was for the best, you couldn’t keep hurting yourself like that and you’d never forgive yourself if you hurt either of them too. Knowing it was for the best didn’t ease the sting in your heart when you turned down their offers to hang out and spend time together, and when the screams of your name stopped from Bucky and Steve ceased to crawl into your bed any more you were never more sure that this is what true heart break was.

You had been in a permanent state of gloom since you had severed your relationship with both men and so when Tony’s ‘ingenious’ plan came around you had no quarrels. Tony was more than aware of the time that Steve and Bucky had missed, making the most jokes of their age in the group, and planned to update their knowledge the best way he knew how. Parties. He was planning on throwing a decade-themed party until they were both caught up on popular culture of the time; guests would dress in clothes from the era, the music would match, and there would be references to every significant event that happened at the time to help educate them. Tony called it ‘a crash course in history the best way possible’, you didn’t care – a Tony Stark party meant one thing: alcohol and plenty of it.

The night of the first party came and you were excited, you always loved the fashion from the fifties and you were in dire need to get blind drunk to forget about two certain super soldiers. Putting on a final coat of cherry red lipstick, you blotted your lips and examined the finished outfit in the mirror. Your hair was curled elegantly, framing your face and making your cheekbones stand out, your dress was iconic; the white halter neck from The Seven Year Itch worn by none other than Marilyn Monroe. The silk material felt amazing, caressing your skin with every movement you made and the low-cut v of the neckline brought enough emphasis to your breasts to make them look amazing. Overall: you looked killer. Too bad you weren’t there to impress anyone but yourself with how many shots you could down without dying.

A knock on the door brought you out of your contemplation’s and it opened to reveal Nat and Wanda, both looking amazing. Wanda had gone for a more generic look of the fifties, the vintage circle dress complete with petticoats making her look the part, Nat dressing similar with a sheath dress that accentuated her curves, both looking stunning.

“Wow Y/N, you look gorgeous,” Wanda breathed out, eyes widening at your appearance.

“Yeah you look hot. Not trying to impress any one, are you?” Nat asked with a mischievous lilt to her voice, of course Nat knew of your feelings and she thought you were stupid for not doing anything about it.

“Of course not, you both look great by the way,” You changed the subject quickly, grabbing your purse before heading towards the door, “Shall we ladies?”

You headed down in the elevator together, the sounds of Nat King Cole getting louder the further down you got until the doors opened into the lounge revealing the party. You had to give it to Tony, he’d really out-done himself, there were pictures and posters of all the major events to have happened throughout the decade, of course Tony would consider the first playboy magazine to be a major event. There were small screens dotted around playing important news clips and infamous film scenes but the sounds coming from them were drowned out by the music from overhead. Everybody looked incredibly, there were no half-assed costumes in sight and the make shift dance floor looked like a rippling sea of colourful skirts twirling around dancing legs.

You all made your way to the bar ordering a drink when your eyes landed on Bucky and Steve and God damn it you wished you’d never seen them. They looked unreasonably good. Steve was dressed in a shirt that clung to his every muscle so much you were scared it would tear in two when he moved, surprisingly your eyes didn’t linger on his bulging arms but on the suspenders that drew over his shoulders clipping onto his pants, your mind played imaged of you pulling him down by his suspenders, crushing your lips against his in a frantic kiss. You shook your head of the thoughts, eyes wandering to Bucky by his side but that wasn’t a safer option. Bucky had gone for a greaser look, channelling James Dean impeccably. His hair was slicked back and the leather jacket he wore made your thighs clench as you pictured running your fingers through his perfectly styled hair whilst he pushed you against a wall, lips attacking yours. Coming out of your haze, you noticed Steve and Bucky both had their eyes on you, small smirks on the faces and you knew you’d been caught. You shot them both a tight smile before quickly turning back to the bar, missing the saddened look on their faces as your turned away from them.

You chatted with Wanda and Nat some more, sipping on your drink deciding to pace yourself or you’d never see the end of the night; soon Wanda went off to talk with vision whilst Nat was on the dancefloor with Clint and you were aimlessly walking around the room, taking in all of it. Your eyes roamed around the room, smiling as they passed your friends who all seemed to be having a good time but you froze as your eyes fell on Bucky who was propped against the bar, chatting up a pretty red-head who was getting very handsy indeed. You had no right to be jealous or sad, Bucky wasn’t yours, you knew that, unfortunately your heart didn’t care about logic. Whether you were with him or not you still loved him and seeing him show such blatant affection to another girl was soul crushing. You spun quickly on your heel, not wanting to watch the scene play out in front of you like your own hellish nightmare any longer, smacking straight into the wall of muscle behind you. Large hands wrapped around your back, calloused skin sending sparks through you at the contact on the bare skin. You knew who it was immediately without having to look up, you’d recognise his touch anywhere.

Steve pulled back up to your feet, blue eyes shining with worry as he peered down at you, his hands not moving on your back. Your previous distress melted away when you looked at Steve, a familiar sense of peace overpowering it that seemed to always be the case when you were around him. This was the closest you’d been to him and weeks and you forgot how much your body ached for even the simplest of touches.

“Are you alright Y/N?” Steve asked, concern evident in his voice as per usual with him. Your problems were Steve’s problems and this applied to everyone he met. You constantly worried that the man had too much on his plate, not giving himself time to mull over his own concerns. 

You smiled up at him, reveling in the grin that spread across his face in response and shook your head, “I’m fine Steve, thanks for the save though.”

His deep chuckle made you weak in the knees and you fought against the rising heat in your cheeks, “You look beautiful Doll, this dress really is something.”

This time you really couldn’t prevent the way you ducked your head and avoided his gaze, the deep timbre of his voice affecting you more than it should but you pushed away the devious thoughts coming springing to your mind and focused on the man in front of you once more, “Thanks Steve, you look great too. Are you enjoying the party?”

“Honestly, yeah,” He let out a small snort of disbelief, “I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think Tony actually had a good idea here, I’m picking stuff up quick, just don’t tell him – the guys egos big enough.”

You and Steve shared a genuine laugh and it was as though nothing had changed, like you hadn’t been avoiding him for so long without even giving him a reason. It thrilled you and scared you just how easy it was to fall back into him as if nothing had happened. “I haven’t seen you around for a while,” Steve murmured, he sounded so small, so vulnerable, and your heart broke thinking about how much you must have hurt him.

“Yeah, sorry I’ve just been really busy lately,” You knew you were lying, he knew you were lying – hell anyone who’d never met you would have known you were lying it sounded so forced. The was an awkward pause before Steve asked you if you wanted a drink, not wanting you to leave him after so long of not being with each other. You ultimately agreed, the need to spent time with him far out weighing any thoughts of protection running through your mind. It’s just a drink, maybe a dance, what’s the worst that can happen?

A couple of hours later, you were wiping tears from your eyes, leaning against Steve for support as you clutched your stomach, trying to control the endless laughter erupting from you at one of Steve’s stories from his past. This man was a world of trouble and you could only imagine the details he was leaving out. You spent the whole night by Steve’s side and he seemed thrilled by it, the grin on his face not once diminishing; you had a couple of drinks (not nearly as many as you were planning on drinking but you didn’t feel so empty when you were with Steve), you danced together, he told you the most ridiculous stories from his past and even more recent ones and you filled him in on what you’d been up to the months you’d spent apart.

The party died down and you decided to call it a night feeling so much better having spent so much time with Steve you walked with a bounce in your step, the weight of your loneliness forgotten as if you’d never separated yourself from them. Steve asked to walk you to your room, an offer you happily accepted and for some unknown reason nerves racked your body. Opening your door, you lingered in the doorway for a moment, unsure of what to say.

“Well, thanks for walking me back,” You felt unsure of yourself, a heavy tension settling between you that you couldn’t quite distinguish. You rubbed your hands together trying to give them something to do to battle to anxiety, Steve’s beautiful blue eyes tracing the details of your face and making you even more nervous.

“It’s no problem,” His voice was deep, deeper than you ever heard it and it sent a spike of arousal through you when you thought of that voice murmuring dirty things into your ear. You stood staring at you, the tension between you mounting until Steve’s tongue came out to wet his bottom lip, igniting the tension like a match to gasoline.

You moved to grip the back of Steve’s neck pressing you lips to his in a frantic kiss, his own hands landing on your waist, gripping you tight and pulling you flush against his chest. It was a battle of teeth and tongues in a near bruising kiss as Steve started to walk you backwards into the room, kicking the door shut with one foot. The sound of the lock clicking in place seemed to pull Steve out of the frenzied trance you had both been in and he pulled his lips away from yours but kept you close to him, not wanting you to leave his grasp. His eyebrows furrowed with confusion and you could tell he was having some sort of internal debate with himself over this, “Y/N?”

His lips brushed against yours as he spoke, his tone soft and confused. “Yeah Steve?”

“What are we doing?” He seemed like he was holding himself back and you thought for a horrifying moment that maybe he didn’t want this, maybe you’d read everything wrong and just made the biggest mistake of your life. You couldn’t prevent the dejected look washing over your face and you tried to pull away but Steve pulled you closer, not letting you move away from him.

“Do you want this?” He asked, eyes searching yours for any sign that you didn’t. You could only nod your head in response but it was enough to set Steve off again. His lips pressed against your again gentler this time, soft lips caressing yours that made you melt against him. His fingers weaved into your hair, pulling your head to the side to deepen the kiss before nibbling on your bottom lip causing you to whimper. Your hands started to wonder, mapping out the scape of his broad chest and landing on those god damn suspenders, gripping the elasticated material and using it to pull him down to you. 

A man should not be allowed to look this good because of suspenders it just isn’t fair!

Your hands moved to start unbuttoning his shirt as he peppered kisses along the column of your neck, leaving small bites in his wake that were destined to bruise. Steve quickly pushed the suspenders from his shoulders, his shirt hitting the floor seconds later and your mouth fell open. Not only did Steve Rogers look like he was crafted by a God in marble but the sight in front of you: panting, in nothing but pants and suspenders hanging around his waist, you felt your cunt clench with desire at the sight and you couldn’t wait anymore.

Steve walked you backwards until you left your bed at the back of your legs, his hands gliding up your back until he reached the tie of your dress around your neck, deftly undoing the knot whilst his eyes remained locked on yours. The front fell revealing your bare breasts to Steve and he let out a gasp at the sight of the soft mounds of flesh, nipples hardening under his intense gaze. You pulled the dress down your hips, the silky material pooling at your feet leaving you in nothing but your panties and heels. You crawled up the bed, feeling Steve’s stare on your swaying hips the whole time before you reached the pillows at the top, turning to lay back against them. Steve’s eyes were near black, pupils blown with lust as he hastily discarded his pants, toeing his shoes off before moving to hover over you on the bed.

His hands trailed over your soft skin, memorising the feeling under his hands: starting from your breasts, thumbs circling your hardened nipples before gliding down you the side of your stomach, gripping the sides of your panties before tugging them down your legs, discarding them on the floor along with all your other clothes. His fingers danced down the skin of your calves before he pulled your heels from your feet, the thud they made against the floor the only sound penetrating the silence of the room.

For a while neither of you moved, simply taking in the sights before you; you laid across the bed in not a stitch of clothing, legs spread slightly for Steve to kneel between, chest heaving with anticipation as you took in Steve. Steve’s hair had fallen slightly out of its neat styling, no doubt from your fingers that had tugged on his blonde locks as you kissed him feverishly, his cock was already hard curling up to his abs, the tip an angry red desperate to be touched.

Covering your body with his, Steve caged your head in between his bulging arms as his mouth came down to press soft kisses against your jaw, “God, you are stunning.”

Before you could respond his lips pressed against your swollen ones once again causing you to moan into his mouth at the contact. You bucked your hips against his, your wetness coating his length are it slid through your folds, you gasped into his mouth as the swollen tip of his cock nudged against your clit. You hooked a leg over his hip subtly telling him to touch you already and he chuckled into your mouth at your desperation.

“Don’t worry Doll, I’ll take care of you,” Steve muttered against your lips, pressing a finale chaste kiss there before slithering down your body until he reached the apex of your thighs. You leaned up on your elbows at the realisation of what was happening, his breath fanning over your dripping core making you shudder in anticipation.  Steve pressed light kisses down your thighs reaching your pussy before switching thighs and giving the other the same treatment.

Your hips bucked, trying to get him to pay attention to where you needed him and his arm lay across your stomach, pinning your hips to the bed before he peeked up at you, mischievous eyes locking on yours as he licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit. You threw your head back at the contact, eyes clenching shut as you finally felt his tongue tracing along your folds, tasting everything you had to over him. His lips moved to lock tightly around your clit, sucking it between his lips as his tongue traced around the sensitive bud in his mouth; your hands clenched in the sheets beneath you as you released the most inhuman sound.

Pleasure shot through your body as Steve lapped at your pussy like a man starved and you knew you wouldn’t last long under his relentless treatment. Steve moved his other hand down from where it was gripping your thigh, fingers lightly dancing along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as the muscles twitched under him up to your cunt, coating his fingers in your slick before pushing one digit into you. Once you adjusted to the feeling, he added another leaving you panting on the bed, incoherently begging for more but he understand you just fine, curling his fingers inside of you seeking out your g-spot.

One of your hands gripped your breast, fingers tugging on your nipple as the other weaved through Steve’s short hair, tugging on the strands as he moaned around your clit causing you to cry out at the vibrations shooting through you. Steve’s fingers brushed against your g-spot and you felt the coil in your stomach tightening, you knew you weren’t going to last much longer as he continued suckling on your clit and rubbing the tips of his fingers against your g-spot.

“Fuck, Steve fuck please, don’t stop baby gonna cum, gonna -fuck” You spat out, choking on your words as Steve increased the speed of his fingers.

“Come on Y/N, cum for me Doll,” Steve murmured into your pussy. You were done for, the coil in your stomach tightening unbelievably before snapping, your pussy clenching around Steve’s fingers as you rode out your orgasm on his face, pleasure bliss filling every inch of you. Steve eased up the arm clung around your waist to give you more room to move, his mouth drinking everything you had to offer him with the obscenest slurping noises that only served to turn you on more.

Your lay spent on the bed as you came down from your high, Steve licking your pussy clean before pressing kisses up your body until he was once again hovering over you. You felt his weight over you, a comforting feeling a peeked your eyes open to see his face, lips glossy and swollen in a face splitting grin as his eyes shone with glee.

“You feeling ok Doll?” He asked, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

You let out a breathy laugh, still panting lightly from your orgasm, “More than ok Steve, gotta say didn’t expect you to be that good.”

Steve shot you a roguish grin leaning down to whisper in your ear, “Think you can go again babydoll?”

It was then that you felt the heavy weight of Steve’s hard cock on pressing against your thigh and your eyes rolled back at the thought of what he could do with it, you hummed in response pressing kisses along his neck as he gripped his cock, pumping it a few times before lining it up with your core. He looked into your eyes, checking once again you were ok and you smiled in response before pushing slowly into you, filling you to the hilt. Steve growled as he felt your walls finally wrap around his cock, the sound of your mewls in his ear only serving to turn him on more and he had to stop himself from fucking you into the mattress before you’d adjusted to his size.

When you finally adjusted, you bucked your hips against his, a silent plea to move. Steve’s hand moved to grip your hip, keeping you steady as he stated to slowly pump his hips into yours, head falling into your neck as he groaned into your sweat slicked skin. Steve pulled your leg up higher, hitching it over his hip so he could hit even deeper within you, cock reaching new depths of your cunt as your nails clawed at his back when he hit your g-spot, swollen tip grazing it with every thrust of his hips. You were still sensitive from your previous orgasm, pussy still twitching and driving you towards you second sooner than you expected.

“Fuck Steve, please fuck so close,” You moaned unabashedly as Steve sped up his hips up, your bodies writhing together in perfect sync, the room filled with your cries, his grunts and the headboard repeatedly slamming against the wall with each plough of Steve’s hips into you creating a symphony of pornographic melodies. Steve’s lips attacked yours in a sloppy kiss, uncoordinated but desperate to feel your lips on his, the movement of his hips losing their finesse as he neared his own edge.

“Urgh, Y/N so close, gonna cum – fuck – doll,” Steve groaned, his short hair falling onto his forehead to sticking to the sweat coated skin. His hand left the grip on your hip to trail his fingers towards your core, circling your sensitive clit quickly with tight circles.

Your back arched off the bed, screaming towards the ceiling as your release washed over you, cunt clenching around Steve’s cock setting off his own orgasm, pumping into you a few final times as he released thick jets of cum into you muttering curses under his breath as he did so. Feeling completely spent you collapsed onto the bed, Steve falling down beside you and pulling you to his chest, wrapping you in his arms as you both panted, basking in your post-coital bliss.

“Wow, that was…wow,” Steve stated breathlessly making you giggle as you tried to regain yourself. Steve pressed a kiss to your forehead as he chuckled along with you, pulling you closer to him.

“It was.”

For a while you were content to just lay in his arms, the strong sound of his beating heart beneath you creating a sense of serenity as you traced senseless patters on the skin of his chest. You pressed a kiss to his chest before looking up at him a bashful smile on your face when you saw he was already staring at you with such affection you thought you were going to combust with happiness.

“I’m sorry I’d been avoiding you and Bucky for the past few months, I just-” You cut yourself of when Steve stiffened beneath you at your words, worry flooding the features of his face, “Steve what’s wrong?”

Steve didn’t respond, instead moving to hastily get out of bed, pulling his clothes back on and avoiding your gaze at all costs. You wrapped the sheet around your naked body as you got up, grabbing Steve’s arm and turning him to face you but he refused to meet your gaze. He wore a guilty expression and it only added to your confusion but before you could ask him again what was wrong he spoke up, his tone broken and remorseful, “Y/N, this was a mistake, it never should have happened.”

“What?”

“Just – please, we can still be friends, right?” He sounded distressed, like the idea you would say no could possibly kill him and you felt tears spring to your eyes.

A mistake? So he doesn’t want me? But he still wants to be my friend? I don’t understand?

“Sure Steve,” Your voice was raspy and honestly you wanted to say so many things; make him tell you what was wrong, what this was, you wanted to scream at him for the way he was leaving you but most of all you just wanted him to leave because you knew you were going to be in floods of tears soon and you didn’t want him to see you like that.

Steve hurried to collect the reminder of his things as you stood there awkwardly, completely unsure of yourself and feeling more than a little humiliated at the turn of events. Before he left your room, Steve turned to you in the doorway, “Y/N, please don’t tell anyone about this.”

You couldn’t look at him, eyes trained on the ground as you nodded numbly at him. When you heard the click of the door shut you collapsed to the floor in a heap of sobs, feeling your heart shatter as the man you loved walked out on you as if you were the worst mistake of his life. The joy that you regained at being around Steve quickly dissipated and the familiar gloom of loneliness filled you once more. You managed to crawl back into your bed, feeling fatigue set in from everything that had just transpired; tears dotted your pillow as a fitful sleep overtook you.  You were right, you were better away from them.  

[jaaryl]

jaaryl (or if someone beat me to it, daaron)

Some answers are going to be based on the rewrite of my Daaron fic which is going to be set during 9.16 (that one day I will get around to finishing I swear lmao).

So, spoilers for that I guess lol. 

1. Who makes the first move and how?

It would have to be Daryl.

Even though Aaron has the most experience dating another man/ person in general, I have no doubt in my mind that he would find it incredibly daunting to even try and proceed a relationship with Daryl. His friendship with Daryl is one of the few bright spots of the apocalypse and it would absolutely break his heart if he scared him off or was rejected.

Since my fic is set during the 9.16 blizzard, the two of them are going on ahead to collect supplies at the next way station and, of course, it has to have the cliche trope of Aaron being all heroic and pushing Daryl out of the way of cracking ice so he’ll fall through instead… all while they are escaping ice zombies. Cue the trope of them cuddling naked for warmth and waking up with an awkward situation yada yada.  

Aaron: [incredibly embarrassed and freaking the hell out] This doesn’t have to change anything.   

Daryl: [also incredibly embarrassed and freaking the hell out, and just fresh off thinking Aaron could of so easily died one (1) day ago and not wanting to waste what time they have together] Ahhhh I kinda want it too????          

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Being seen as outcasts still bothers them a lot, even if they try their best not to show it. No matter how far into the apocalypse, or how important they have become to the success of the communities, there will always be those douches who look down on people for being different. And the best thing about Daaron is how leaning on each other for support and having each other’s backs when they are feeling this way is literally the foundation of their relationship.          

3. Who is the most romantic?

Aaron’s the obvious choice with his tendency to be extremely tactile and handing out affection left and right while also giving away huge gifts, like the bike. However, Daryl is incredibly sentimental, and loves and cherishes that bike like it’s one of his most precious possessions, and he also shows his love by making sure the people that he cares about are well provided for. So, it’s for you to decide.  

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Daryl is extremely touch-starved but he is also pretty awkward when it comes to asking for affection. Aaron is a mix of very tactile, begging to give hugs and super lonely. 

So, once Aaron figures out that Daryl wants to be touched more than the occasional hug, handhold or brush of arms all bets are off. I can only imagine how bad it will be when they get into an actual relationship.

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

I feel like Aaron has said those words long before they started dating, “Daryl, I love you, but no,” and completely mean them (both platonically and romantically). So, the moment Daryl says the words back for the first time…he is kinda worried Aaron’s smile is going to split his face in half.    

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

Season 5: Eric, for obvious reasons.

 Season 9: Paul, most definitely, hot, gay, single and already someone they both trust completely. 

Post 9.08 though? Ah, no one? Aaron is literally the only male character that Daryl is close to lmao.  

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

I doubt there is much to do datewise beyond the wall, even for two bamfs like Aaron and Daryl. Maybe fortnightly overnight camping trips when it gets too stuffy in Alexandria and they need to escape for a bit.   

On the nights that they have the house all to themselves, it is pretty quiet. Just the two of them hanging out, kicking back beer, pressed up against each other, talking about mindless topics, and having sex etc.                  

8. What do they like in bed?

Daryl: when you said “magical in bed” this isn’t exactly what I was exp-

Aaron: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card

Daryl: *softly* holy shit

Aaron knows that Daryl doesn’t have a lot of experience in the bedroom department, and is happy to help guide him. I see Aaron as someone who is super into foreplay and body worship, especially on someone like Daryl who needs all the touch he can get and is v receptive to praise kink. As Daryl becomes more confident I do see him taking charge a little more, maybe some manhandling etc and he doeeesss have an oral fixation, always putting things in/exploring things with his mouth so take that as you will lmao.    

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

Honestly, Aaron is pretty hard to embarrass. Like, sure, he does embarrassing things but he’s always the first one to laugh at himself. Things like his over-the-top dorky dances to make Daryl laugh, his celebrity impression of people Gracie has never even seen, or heard of, and she is super embarrassed about when he pulls it out as his party trick, his off-key singing to Disney songs with Gracie and trying to get Daryl to join in (AK can take Disney nerd Aaron from my cold dead hands these people have solar panels and the kids have definitely seen movies).   

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

Damn, I can’t cheat and answer with ‘a book on how to build a raft’ or ‘survival guide for dummies’ because they are both very survival competent lmao.

For luxury items: Daryl’s crossbow and Aaron’s knife.

Ahhh I am worst at music questions! I can see Daryl being a sentimental loser and bringing Rick’s terrible music with him even if he hates it.

 Ross apparently headcanons Aaron’s favourite song as “Hand in Glove” by The Smiths, so why not?

11. What do they hide from one another?

Their unspoken feelings uwu (lame).

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Their relationship status.

13. When do they realise they should get together?

There has always been something simmering under the surface of their friendship. From the very beginning, Aaron has been incredibly fascinated by everything Daryl Dixon and Daryl in return has found comfort, acceptance and an overwhelming amount of fondness towards Aaron.

It has just never been the right time to explore the unspoken thing between them. But after the six-year time jump, Daryl is finally in the right emotional place to settle down and Aaron has been ready for a long while. Daryl is confronted once more that the world is a dangerous place when Aaron almost dies again (in the fic) and the prospect of leaving their relationship open-ended weighs on him heavily.      

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

Aaron has been run ragged by the worrying he has done about sick Gracie all week (even just a cold in the apocalypse is a scary thing for Aaron with all that he’s lost). He probably got one good day in before his own immune system came crashing down hard. Daryl feels a little useless that he can’t really help him get better so he goes out and hunts whatever bird he can find so he can cook him something at least resembling chicken soup, and distracts Gracie for the next couple of days so he can get some rest.        

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

In this house, we appreciate animated films and since Lydia and Daryl are not really accustomed to the broad range of them they get the final vote. It would probably be Jungle Book (after years of rejecting civilization they finally rejoin it) or even something like Spirit (refusing to let anyone tame their wild).   

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

Do I need to answer this one lmao?

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

Try and change the events of 8.02? Saving Eric and having the three of them adopt baby Gracie? Changing the events of 9.08, so Paul lives and Jaaryl can happen? 7.01, so Glenn lives? 9.05, Rick never blows up the bridge? 9.15, so there are no pike deaths? 

Ahhh there are just so many options, these two have such a sad life!     

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

19. Where do they go on their first date?

Out on a hike in the woods, a picnic is involved.  

20. Where do they go on holiday?

You and @boltsandashes have given me major daaron beach day feels, it’s an absolutely adorable visual. Aaron making sure Daryl has the best day possible visiting the beach for the best time? I dieeee.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

They are still both not the biggest fan of parties unless it is a family event with people they like. 

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

Waystation cabin.  

Aaron makes sure to ask him if it’s okay if they kiss for the first time after they are already in a heated grinding session, the goober. 

23. Where is their favourite place to be together?

Beyond the walls and out in the woods hunting, hiking, exploring ect just like old times.

24. Where do they first have sex?

Waystation cabin.

25. Why do they fight?

Pissed at each other for being so damn self-sacrificing (“Whether we make it or not, we do it together,” remember that, asshole?!)

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

Aaron’s first priority is his daughter’s happiness so it is pretty crucial to find out where their relationship stands before it gets way too deep (which good luck on that one), it would be different if Gracie wasn’t in the picture but she is so he needs to know if Daryl is 100% on board with being a parent to her or not.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

The shifty way they try and keep their relationship under wraps. 

There’s nothing strange about Daryl moving in with Aaron, they are both close friends, right? But what is strange is Aaron turning up to every council meeting absolutely glowing and grinning ear to ear, and Daryl being a super nice to everyone in Alexandria.

Are they sick???   

It goes on and on until Gracie accidentally spills the beans when she excitedly tells Judith that her daddy and Judith’s uncle are dating(not that Gracie knows all the details of their relationship or anything it’s just what she suspects lol).

They probably going to get married one day, and it will make her and Judith related!  

So, Judith goes home and asks her Michonne if Aaron and Daryl are dating, causing Michonne to finally connects the dots on why the hell they have been acting so weird.         

28. Why do they get jealous?

Aaron is super jealous over how cool Daryl looks on a motorbike, while Daryl is pretty jealous over how well Aaron can articulate his words to describe how he is feeling.    

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

When Daryl is being absolutely precious with Gracie, Lydia and Dog. It makes Aaron’s chest tighten and his heartbeat frighteningly fast. Those are the moments that Aaron wants nothing more than to raise a family and have a future with him.  

Aaron is probably being dorky af just to make Daryl laugh, for real not just an under the breath chuckle. Every time he pulls one from Daryl, Daryl can feel his heart expand tenfolds.       

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

Oh man, I could write an entire essay on why these two are perfect for each other but to really simplify it: they already have a super strong bond, they are comfortable with each other and trust each other, both relate to feeling like an outsider, both like kids, they have history, their personalities balance each other out etc

It’s one of Daryl’s healthiest relationships on the show I don’t think there are any reasons why not?

[blakesramos-blog]

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[writing-freestyle]

model!rose

find model!jisoo: here!  model!jennie: here! and model!lisa: here!

doesn’t do runway that often because she already has to stand a long ass time for her job, she don’t wanna have to walk in some crazy high heels too

only does it when a lot of her other friends are in the same show or her company won’t let her refuse

like “rose... this is gucci. you can not say no to gucci.”

she’ll put 110% effort into any project she does, though

this is her job, after all, and she does enjoy it, and it makes it even better knowing that she put her best effort into it

this girl is the LITERAL definition of photogenic

like, most people have at least one funny photo of them out there somewhere, but rose? has? none?

not even from her pre teen years, like EVERYONE has a cringe middle school year, but hers like fricken amazing

jisoo tried to make it her life mission to get a derpy photo of rose, but literally every time she took a photo of her off guard, it just looked like a really beautiful candid

eventually, jisoo gave up, she was just like ‘screw this, you’re too beautiful, i give up’

did i mention that she has the cutest friendship with wendy? like, obviously she’s closest to jisoo, jennie, and lisa, but her wendy have had such good chemsitry since day 1, like they just get along so well, it’s v v v cute

was once in a music video for TVXQ, and jisoo almost cried (she actually cried), but rose was like ‘i gotchu, boo’

then proceeded to bring jisoo to the filming site (with permission ofc) and introduced for to Yunho and Changmin and jisoo got to talk with them and take pictures with them, and they even gave her a hug right before she left

jisoo was so over the moon that she showed up at rose’s apartment a week later and was like ‘pack your bags, we’re going on a vacation, i already cleared it with your company.’

and rose was like ?? omg, jisoo, this is so last minute?? where are we even going??

*jisoo, throwing clothes into a suitcase*: it’s a surprise

turns out they were going to australia. rose started crying when she saw her family waiting for her there at the airport. jennie and lisa were there as well, and they were like: ‘we’re gonna let you hang with your family for a week, we’ll meet you back here in a week’

rose: ‘i love you all so much?’

the rest of bp: ‘we know’

rose has this habit of saying ‘wait, what?’ even though she heard and understood everything perfectly, and jennie just sighs and gives her a few seconds to catch up with the conversation

her and lisa always competing to see who can eat a fried chicken the fastest, and it always ends up in a tie

you’re actually fairly close to rose because you’re a photographer that works with a brand that rose models for a lot

and rose is your favorite model to work with because, while she is immensely photogenic, she’s also a sweetheart that takes interest in what you do as well?

like, models don’t need to know what kind of camera you’re using or the type of equipment you prefer, but rose is always so interested?

like, ‘oh, are you using a new camera today? what type is it? what are the good points of this camera? would you recommend it?’

sometimes she’s scared she’s being annoying by asking too many questions, but you always reassure her that you actually love it when she does that? it’s endearing, and you appreciate her making conversation over something you’re interested in

she constantly expresses that your photos of her are her favorite, and she’s always showing off your photos on her instagram and @ ing you and telling all her followers to go follow you!

someone named @bobbykim keeps commenting ‘my otp, i’m fanboying’ whenever you two make a post about each other

your friend/coworker joy keeps trying to get you to ask her out, but you keep going ‘she’s just being nice, i don’t think she sees me in that way’

SPOILER ALERT: SHE TOTALLY DOES

and it takes you guys traveling to a different continent to finally figure that out, like hot damn, you guys couldn’t have figured this out at home

like the both of you had been flown out to europe for an exclusive photo shoot, and rose is so excited to hear that you’re the photographer that she calls up lisa and is like ‘THE CUTE PHOTOGRAPHER IS HERE’ and lisa is just calmly like ‘you guys are in the city of love, do not let me down by coming back single’ and hangs up bc international calls are expensive af

and rose kinda stands there contemplating her options when you come up to greet her

and you end up scaring the living day lights out of her, causing her to trip and fall

profusely apologizing but rose insisting that she’s alright, she was spacing out, so it’s partially her fault

que a slightly awkward silence, followed by rose asking if you were doing anything after the shoot ended

you: ‘i was thinking about walking around a little, but i’m afraid of getting lost alone and not being able to communicate with anyone’

rose *internally*: THIS IS LIKE FATE OR SOME CRAP BECAUSE I WANT TO WALK AROUND WITH SOMEONE, PREFERABLY YOU, AND I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE, IS THIS DESTINY OR WHAT

rose *outloud*: ‘oh! well, i’m actually pretty fluent in the language and was looking for someone to go sightseeing with me. would you be interested?’

ofc you say yes, you’re still in your right mind

and it’s perfect, sightseeing with rose as she shows you into her favorite shops and has you try some food that you can’t even pronounce the name of

but something in the back of your head keeps bugging you because

is this a date? or is rose just being nice and friendly?

your question is answered at 8:00 in the evening, when the sun starts setting, and all the sudden you feel a really soft? and warm hand? slipping into yours?

and you look over to find rose looking down at her shoes, blushing profusely

your heart melts, she just looks so pure and beautiful, so you just loosen her grip a little, only to properly entwine your fingers together

if you had a heart reading on rose in that moment, it would be the most dramatic drop, and then a rapid increase, most people would be like ‘that is not healthy’

rose looking at you with wide eyes, and you just shyly going ‘i prefer to hold hands tightly’

she swears she could have just kissed you in that moment but she was like @ me..... chill

everyday for the week you two are in paris, you and rose spend it getting to know each other a little better, sipping wine on her hotel balcony, and even taking a picture of her as the sun sets behind her.

that picture is your pride and joy, and is now in a frame, sitting on the nightstand next to your bed

as you two come back, lisa is already at the airport, waiting for rose, and she’s sad when rose emerges, without you by her side, because... did it not... happen

but, no, lisa, it’s only because you two took different flights, and you’ll be arriving tomorrow morning

rose doesn’t tell her that, though. she decides to surprise lisa by going to their scheduled lunch date 4 days later, with your hand entwined with hers.

lisa flipping in the middle of the restaurant and jennie being like... lisa... pls... we’re in public

lisa: ‘I CALLED IT. I TOTALLY CALLED IT’

bobby+jennie+jisoo: ‘we all called it, sit down and decide what you want to eat, you’ve been staring at the menu for half an hour.’

rose falling more in love with you when she sees how well you get along with her friends

and eventually falling in love with you again when she sees how much you enjoy being around her family

a while after you start dating, rose takes on the habit of taking photos of you for a change

you’re really shy about it at first because ‘i’ve only ever been behind the camera’

rose reassuring you, saying ‘while a camera can’t capture all of your beauty, it’s nice to have something to remind me of you when we’re not together’

every model you ever worked with now knows you and rose are dating, and it’s like?? how??

everyone in a 100 mile radius: she likes to tell anyone and everyone about how perfect you are

concept: the next time you and rose do a shoot together, rose is naturally more flirty and cute, and while you two are looking over the photos together later on, you’re like ‘is it me, or did rose get more beautiful some how?’ and joy, from ten feet behind you two just goes: ‘I WANT TO MAD BY ALL THIS MUSHY CRAP, BUT IT’S SO CUTE THAT I CAN’T’

then rose smiling shyly at that and giving you a kiss on the cheek while joy takes a picture

which is now your phone background because it was just too cute

should i do another model!au with another group after i finish lisa’s, or should i do another au? let me know!

[willahswrites-blog]

Please

Here’s the next part to my main story! Title is inspired by this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8T0qK7I_pA

One of the lines towards the end is borrowed from Friends just because I think it’s one of the best out there!

Hope you enjoy :)

2017

Harry sat in the conference room, pretending to listen to the presentation on projected ticket sales for his upcoming tour. At the beginning of his solo career, he insisted that he wanted to be involved in every aspect of every event, but he was beginning to regret that as he looked at the 100th slide with the same graph projected on a screen in front of him.

It had been 12 hours since he had gotten the texts from his girl saying that she was willing to try. Reading her words filled him with relief and joy. He had renewed hope that he could mend what he had broken and make his heart whole again. Just as he let his mind wander to thoughts of her and what their future could be, his phone buzzed on the table in front of him, indicating he had a new email.

Harry immediately snatched it up and saw that it was from her. With a pounding heart and shaking hands, he swiped it open, mentally preparing himself for the guilt and sadness that was going to consume him at her words.

However, nothing could prepare him for the utter devastation he felt when he saw she changed her mind. Momentarily, he was consumed by heartbreak and loneliness before he shook his head. No. He wasn’t going to let her give up. It might be selfish, but he couldn’t get this far with her only to walk away. He leaned over to his right and whispered to Jeff.

“I need to leave. Now.”

Jeff nodded, “Okay, everyone. Thanks for giving us a lot to think about. You guys put together a great presentation and we’re excited about the future!”

Once it was clear, Harry rushed out of the room and into his waiting car. He couldn’t get to her fast enough. After driving recklessly through the London streets, he braked harshly and quickly parked outside her flat. He quickly rushed up the stairs and began pounding on her door with desperate fists.

She opened the door with a tired, resigned face. He could tell that she was expecting him. He could also tell that she wasn’t necessarily happy about it. She silently stepped aside and he rushed in, not giving her an opportunity to change her mind.

“I’m not letting you change your mind,” Harry said firmly.

“Harry,” she sighed

“No.” he repeated, “You’re not changing your mind. I love you.”

Suddenly, he watched her walls break and emotion explode from her.

“I don’t believe you.” she spat

“What?” Harry asked, dumbfounded

“I don’t believe that you love me, Harry.” she said, venom laced in her tone, “It used to be the only thing I knew to be true but now, after everything, it all feels like a lie.”

“You don’t mean that,” he said, swallowing around the growing lump in his throat.

“I do,” she said firmly

“Bean, please. Tell me what I can say to convince you” Harry asked desperately

“It’s not what you say, Harry! God, you could say the sky is green but those are just words! They don’t mean anything!” she yelled, losing any sense of rationality

“I always tried to show you…” Harry trailed off, knowing he didn’t try as much as he should, as much as she deserved

She laughed. An uncontrollable, bitter laugh that bubbled up from the depths of her insides. “Did you? Did you really? This is news to me! Let’s take a little trip down memory lane, shall we? Find out how we got to this very lovely moment.”

June 2016

Harry trudged up the stairs of her flat. His life had taken a few turns since One Direction went on hiatus and he could feel his emotions and thoughts scatter as he tried to figure out what his new path was going to be. He spent his days either in endless meetings or wandering around England thinking about all the options before him. It was exhausting. He was due to leave for France in a few days to start filming Dunkirk. He knew he needed to spend time with her but all he really wanted to do was sleep.

Using his spare key, his shoulders dropped in disappointment as he heard the loud music coming from her bathroom. She always listened to music while she showered, but usually opted for more mellow tunes the later she showered. He was honestly hoping to catch her right at the end of her nightly routine so they could just collapse into her bed.

Instead, he sprawled out on her couch, closing his eyes. Moments later, he heard the music get a little louder and wet footsteps approach.

“You scared me!” she said with a smile, “I didn’t hear you come in,”

Keeping his eyes closed, he muttered, “I’m not surprised. You can’t hear anything above all that fucking noise.”

He missed her eyes widen in shock and hurt. Her response was swallowed by the sudden ringing of her phone.

“Hi Daddy,” she answered, “Yeah I’m alright. Poor mum got the brunt of the emotion because I called her right after it happened…”

Her voice trailed off as she went back in the bathroom and shut the door. Harry vaguely registered that she was upset and hadn’t called him. He was curious as to what happened and knew he should follow her to provide comfort. He just couldn’t bring himself to pull his exhausted self off the couch and love her.

The moment he stayed on that couch was the first crack in the foundation.

August 8, 2016

She sat in her silent apartment, staring at her phone resting on the coffee table in front of her. Her knee bounced up and down relentlessly while she chewed her lower lip. Knowing that you were due to get the worst phone call of your life was enough to send anyone’s nervous system haywire. Two days ago, her mother had called to inform her that her beloved grandfather had fallen and, while he was comfortable, it was only a matter of time before he moved on. In the time since that phone call, she had received almost hourly texts from one family member or another giving updates on his condition. All she wanted was Harry to be with her, holding her as her world fell apart, but he was thousands of miles away in LA and barely responded to any of her messages.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her phone. Seeing her father’s contact photo on the screen, she took a breath, blinking back tears. An actual phone call could only mean one thing.

“Daddy?” she choked out

“Bean,” he sighed, “Pop died.”

“Okay,” she said, trying to hold her tears in. She could tell her father was trying to do the same and the line was silent for a moment.

“Get on the first train you can and Mum and I will be there. The brothers are on their way too.” he told her, clearing his throat after every sentence to hide his emotion

“Okay,” she repeated.

They hung up the phone a minute later, both unable to hold back their tears any longer. Loud, ugly sobs wracked her body. Realistically, she knew this day would come for every one of her loved ones, but hearing the actual words from her father shattered every piece of her heart.

With shaking hands, she called the one person she needed the most.

“Hey,” he answered shortly, “What’s up?”

She took a deep breath and swallowed her sobs, “He’s gone.”

“Pop?” he questioned with a slightly softer tone, “I’m sorry, Bean. Do you need me to come?”

She was shocked into silence for a moment. If this had happened a year, even 6 months ago, he never would have asked that question. He would’ve just rushed to be with her.

“Well, not if it’s a fucking chore, Harry.”

He sighed on the other end, “That’s not what I meant.”

She wiped her tears furiously, “Come, don’t come. It’s not about you. I have to go.”

The call ended and her sobs returned. In the end, he did end up coming, but the crack that had appeared in their relationship only widened.

August 18, 2016

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” she asked, heart sinking.

“Bean,” he sighed, “I was just there 10 days ago. I can’t miss any more time in the studio. You know how important this is to me.”

“Of course I know it’s important Harry! And I’m sorry that my grandfather dying was such an inconvenience to you, but you’ve never missed my birthday. Ever. No matter how crazy everything got, you’ve always been there.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I’m in LA, you’re in London. I can’t leave again.” he said shortly

“I get it.” she said, matching his tone, “Thanks for letting me know.”

October 2016

Since the terrible month of August, their relationship had been strained at best. Communication had been minimal. She had chalked it up to him being away and recording his album, holding on to the naive hope that their relationship could be mended. He was due to be home the next day and she worked hard to clear her schedule and groom herself to look her best for him. Just as she folded the last piece of laundry and put it away in her closet, her phone rang.

“Hey! I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” she said cheerily to her boyfriend

“Bean,” he sighed, “I’m not coming.”

She sat slowly on her bed, sadness creeping into her skin, “What was it this time?”

“I need to record some stuff with musicians in LA”

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” she muttered

“You know what?” he said angrily, “I haven’t been able to do enough for you for months. You don’t understand that this album is the most important thing in my life right now and I have to put everything into it. I can’t constantly be worried about you and what you think”

Tears sprang to her eyes at his bitter tone, “Harry. I do understand it’s important. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to choose. I -”

He cut her off, “No, I can’t do this anymore. I need to be on my own and just focus”

“What?” she breathed

“I’m sorry.” he said and then hung up the phone

2017

Harry’s head hung in shame. He pressed his hands to his eyes, keeping his tears at bay. Being confronted with your worst mistakes was never easy, but compounded by the fact that those mistakes broke the heart of the only woman he has ever loved was almost unbearable.

“After you said that to me, I was devastated Harry, and I thought you would have been too.”

“I was! I am!” He interjected, desperate for her to know that this hasn’t been easy for him either

“You had a funny way of showing it.” she whispered

He closed his eyes at the shameful memory of something he wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive himself for. A few weeks after their split, he had finally finished his album. In that silence, he was faced with his decisions and the overwhelming heartbreak of that was too much for him to handle. So, with the help of Jeff, he used his considerable resources to gather a group of friends, which happened to include a few supermodels on a yacht in the Mediterranean Sea.

Pictures of him snuggling with one model in particular, hiding under a blanket with her, and her sitting in his lap had been plastered all over every newspaper, entertainment channel and social media for the world to see. Harry could only imagine what his former girlfriend thought of him after seeing those pictures.

“I guess I can’t blame you,” she sniffed, “We weren’t together. But I can’t sit here and tell you that it didn’t devastate me. You wanted to know what I thought and felt about everything that’s happened. There you go, Harry. I’m completely and utterly devastated.”

“I’m so sorry. That’s not enough, but I don’t even know what to say to make this up to you.”

She shrugged, “You were my best friend and I thought you were the love of my life. I used to think of you as someone who would never ever hurt me. You’re just a completely different person to me now.”

Harry finally lifted his head to meet her eyes. Seeing how broken and empty they were made him wonder if there was any way to truly fix this. He had pulverized her heart and maybe his penance for his sins was a life without her.

[geek-gem]

Dead Space And Isaac Clarke

Kind of difficult to think of a title that fits. But just saying wanted to make this after OK KO was done yet was on laptop for a bit not much it's 4:09 pm

Basically what I wanted to talk about a few days ago. I had found out Visceral Games the developer who made the original Dead Space trilogy was shut down. That night or something I had watched some videos and honestly saddened. That I even talked to myself about just my thoughts.

I have mentioned Dead Space before just as my earlier text post today in the morning about some aliens and shit. But I wanna get to this.

I've been wanting to make this and now I have the feeling to make it something interesting. Also spoilers for the Dead Space series just in case.

Seriously I really liked the Dead Space mainly the trilogy never played the other games or seen the animated films. Yet I seriously liked the series. Including the 2nd game. But also the character of Isaac Clarke himself.

Seriously Isaac Clarke was a bad ass mother fucker. I honestly liked it that they developed his character for the first sequel. Including when I was in the shower an hour ago or something. I thought about why I seemed to like the character very much. He's a character that's always stuck in my mind.

Including in a weird way I wanna mention I don't know if I should say Dead Space 2 is a masterpiece. I shouldn't but it's because it's the only game I've completed while I watched the endings of the 1st and 3rd games. Yet got far in them a bit I guess for the first. Seriously I was young a bit. Including I kept replaying Dead Space 2 because it had a new game option where I can have all my equipment I had and I loved that. Along with I honestly loved the story and Isaac in that game.

I thought of possibly the reason why I honestly like Isaac a lot. Including why he's stuck as one of my favorites. Is because despite the series being set in the 26th century in a scifi setting he is seriously a normal guy a engineer who got caught up in shit with the nercomorphs. In a weird way I've kind of compared him to something similar like the protagonist's of the Silent Hill games. Where Resident Evil that series the characters are mostly trained for any sort of situation. Yet that doesn't mean Chris Redfield, Leon Kennedy, and others aren't bad characters. But compared to the likes of Harry Mason from the first Silent Hill game and James Sunderland from Silent Hill 2 had to check Youtube for his last name and again right now in case. But those guys were normal people. Including Silent Hill 2 from what I've know and see is a more personal story compared to Harry while it's another story but also looking for his daughter Cherry.

It's a weird comparison but it's something I feel is like that with Isaac. But this time in a science fiction setting. Including Dead Space 2 is where their was the story about the Sprawl but also Isaac's personal struggle.

Including what amazes me and I can't believe I'm still stunned by this discovery very long ago. Remembering reading a YouTube comment surprised and went to the wiki revealing Isaac was 49 years old during the events of Dead Space 2 and 3 because 3 takes a few months after 2. Meaning he's almost 50 when in the first and second I thought he was in his 30's or 40's not mid to late 40's.

While I'm not surprised by Bill from Left 4 Dead who's age is unknown and some of the Overwatch characters. I think I'm so surprised and enlightened by the character of Isaac of how much shit he goes through. While having some narly suits okay a friend sent a photo but the guy is seriously a normal person. Including someone who's not trained for combat. Something similar to the characters of the first Alien and other stuff. Because people compare Alien and Dead Space.

Also seriously the voice of Gunner Wright is amazing and him voicing but also being the model for the character. That I was looking up some videos while waiting for the OK KO such as this sounds video of him from Dead Space 2 just mainly screaming, groaning, and breathing.

Funny thing I said this when I was in room said I'm 49 fucken years old trying to be Isaac yet he never says that. But it does relate to just....I just love it when he swears or just... seriously. Including my favorite line from the series and kind of want this as a meme it's from the ending of Dead Space 2.

"FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MARKER!" seriously I love that line Including all the shit leading up to that.

Seriously some people don't seem to like that Isaac got a personality but I'm sorry or not I fucking loved it that the 2nd game went that direction.

Also let's talk about the games themselves the games are awesome. They have awesome gameplay and honestly scary at times. Including the Nercomorphs these brutal undead mother fuckers that do scare me and are just awesome. Along with how gruesome they are and tough. Including the whole dismemberment of arms and legs. Really I feel Dead Space 2 takes the cake as the most fucked up in the series. It's been a while since I've played the first and the third is a different story.

I wanna talk about the shutting down of Visceral Games and that I even thought about and concerned of me buying another EA game. You've heard their terrible. Along with I remember the last EA game I bought was Titanfall 2 got that for Christmas of last year i think. It's a game I really enjoy but been a long while since I've played it. Including fans talking about the possibility of getting a new publisher please.

Also about Dead Space 3 I'm okay with it. Yet yeah I feel the action direction basically people talked about this and it's maybe similar to that of Resident Evil and how it went down that route.

Seriously I liked the addition of John Carver the other character you could play as. A soldier compared to Isaac who is a engineer. I didn't play the co op because I do not wanna get an EA account. Just okay looked twice tv on yet I wanna say I have seen his cutscenes. I seriously felt like and talked to someone who's on Deviantart and on here haven't followed them. We both agreed and I would of personally liked it if John's personal missions where he's basically kind of going through well yeah the same thing as Isaac in the first two games. Including that it mainly stays to the horror side of things.

But seriously their was some stuff I was bothered by with certain directions they went with. Including that story DLC Awakened while nice but this stupid cliffhanger.

Yet will say would of liked it if you could played as John Carver in single player at times instead of... honestly this co op it's a nice idea just....the action direction and just this one video s gaming Jim Sterling I looked on YouTube. Found this video too this is where I found out about the information but just at the part where they talk about Visceral Games shutting down. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ4eie-e2hc

Including that guys video I mentioned was the 2nd video I watched.

Really I wasn't all that sad at first but then even thinking about it more. Okay I was sad at first. But then I got to think about it more and it just sucks. Basically a video game franchise I liked and respected. Including a video game character I loved I said is now dead in a way.

Including I think yeah I wanted a Dead Space 4 but seriously even a HD Remaster of the first three games because I love those games and I honestly live for remasters because it's difficult to let go of certain games unless you have the system for it. Just yawned yet not everyone wants to do that.

Even today I thought of can we give Dead Space to a new developer or just reboot Dead Space and give it to a new developer.

Yet honestly realistically that's not gonna happen. Including Dead Space is one of EA's games as Visceral Games was built up with EA. But seriously I'm sure I don't want another EA related game again because I don't wanna give them money.

Really it's sad seeing a series like Dead Space go. A series I honestly liked and would of loved to see more games. Including again me liking the character of Isaac Clarke.

Basically during my time before I wanted to try to make this like I mentioned. But also looked on Wikipedia a bit of Dead Space not Visceral Games. Yet I also watched that funny yet nice Random Encounters musical of Dead Space and honestly would love a 2nd part.

Including decided to listen to it's called award winner a the music playing for the Remembering SpongeBob from well SpongeBob SquarePants. Just thinking of Isaac Clarke mainly. Honestly something like that surprised more people haven't used that as a joke but also a nice thing to remembering something you liked a lot dearly. It should be a meme in a way. So without further a do.

Remembering Dead Space and Isaac Clarke.

*gonna find music https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p6DKzNRdwyI now gifs oh God it's playing the song*

After the 7th wanted to type but wanted to put more. Yet wanted to say for that part I put there 3rd gif by mistake. Including I even said to myself after I found out the news.

That Isaac Clarke in PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale was honestly awesome and I guess beautiful I'm thinking now. Because I'm a fan of the series and the character. Including it was my first DLC I ever downloaded on my old PS3 when I joined PlayStation Network. Now I can't play my old PS3 and can't get Isaac or any of the other dlc characters. Seriously no complete or ultimate edition definitive edition I wanted to say and spell right before ultimate. Also the music rarely plays like that and tried it again but couldn't lol. Now got tags down wanted to share this lol just wanted to talk just okay to smile. Yet sad but just breathe I wanted to talk about this oh stomach a bit my thoughts on this I'm stalling now 13 just 5:13 typing too fast and smiled a bit even now

[ramajmedia]

25 Best Movies on Netflix Right Now (September 2019) | ScreenRant

While Netflix remains far and away the most popular streaming subscription service out there, it's fair to say that their selection of movies isn't quite what it once was. Netflix is opting more and more to focus on their own original content, and while much of that content is good, it doesn't do much for those looking to take in a great movie that Netflix didn't produce.

Reduction in library size aside, Netflix still plays host to some truly great films, ranging all the way from relatively recent superhero adventures to bonafide Oscar-winning classic dramas. Here are the 25 best films on Netflix that you can watch right now.

NOTE: This list is updated regularly - to ensure availability of the movies listed. Also, the list isn't ranked from worst to best, so a lower number is not meant to denote higher quality. It's just a list of 25 great movies.

Last updated: September 5, 2019

Related: Netflix Stock Hits All-Time High, Now Worth $130 Billion

Before the list proper, there are some notes to be made. First, Netflix offers a different selection in every country it services, and this list focuses solely on films available to U.S. subscribers. That said, those outside the U.S. are encouraged to still check their country's line-up, as some of these picks may also be available to them. Secondly, these 25 films are available to stream as of this writing. If and when included titles are removed from Netflix, this list will be updated with new selections.

25 Monty Python and the Holy Grail

A feature-film offshoot of the classic sketch comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus, 1975's Monty Python and the Holy Grail is regularly cited as one of the funniest comedies of all time, and is also one of the most influential movies in history. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is the film that launched a thousand memes, and anyone who watches it for the first time on Netflix is likely to come away in awe at how many common pop cultural references they now understand. For those who can't get enough, Monty Pyton's Flying Circus' full run is also available to stream.

24 Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

One of the lesser-known movies on this list, 2010's Tucker & Dale vs. Evil only received a limited theatrical release, but that doesn't make it any less a great option for a night of Netflix viewing. Directed by Eli Craig, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil stars Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine as the titular duo, mild-mannered hillbillies living in West Virginia. Tucker and Dale are nice people, but resemble the type of backwoods villains seen in many a horror movie, and a series of comic misunderstandings lead a group of young friends to believe the two capable of murder. A lesson in not judging a book by its cover, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil is a great blend of slasher and comedy.

23 Pulp Fiction

Director Quentin Tarantino's resume boasts many terrific films, but 1994's Pulp Fiction is still arguably his signature work, decades after it took pop culture by storm. Boasting a star-studded cast of acting greats - John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, Tim Roth, Ving Rhames, and more - Pulp Fiction is one of the slickest, coolest crime thrillers to emerge from the 1990s. Chances are most reading this have seen it, but those who haven't owe it to themselves to give it a watch on Netflix.

Related: All of Quentin Tarantino's Movies, Ranked

22 American Psycho

While landing the role of Batman in Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy may be what cemented Christian Bale as an A-list star, just a few years earlier, the actor drew raves for his portrayal of yuppie serial killer Patrick Bateman in director Mary Harron's American Psycho. An adaptation of Brett Easton Ellis' controversial 80s-set book, the recently added to Netflix film excises some of Ellis' more upsetting sequences, but still manages to craft one of the most fascinating horror films of its decade. For his part, Bale is a revelation, exuding both undeniable menace and his own odd charm.

21 Hellboy

While it's sad that director Guillermo Del Toro and star Ron Perlman never got to finish their Hellboy trilogy, there's no reason not to go back and watch their original 2004 effort again on Netflix. Hellboy only did decently at the box office, but was critically acclaimed, and earned a big enough cult fanbase to receive 2008 sequel Hellboy II: The Golden Army. The Hellboy franchise will soon be rebooted with David Harbour in the lead role and Neil Marshall behind the camera, but to many, Perlman will be always be Big Red.

20 Moonlight

Directed by Barry Jenkins, 2016's coming-of-age drama Moonlight will - for better or worse - probably always be known as the movie that won Best Picture only after the award had been mistakenly given to La La Land. That aside, Moonlight deserved the awards love, and is definitely in the top tier of Netflix's movie selection. The film follows three stages in the life of Chiron Harris (Alex Hibbert, Ashton Sanders, and Trevante Rhodes), a young black man trying to both make his way in the world and come to terms with his sexuality, despite dealing with homophobia and his drug-addicted mother. Mahershala Ali, Naomie Harris, Janelle Monae, and Andre Holland also star.

Related: Where Does Moonlight Rank Among Recent Best Picture Winners?

19 Groundhog Day

Bill Murray is generally regarded as one of the most beloved actors of all time, and boasts a resume most performers would be jealous of. Truly one of his best turns came in 1993's Groundhog Day, playing acerbic weatherman Phil Connors. To call Phil a huge jerk would be putting it mildly, but fate has decided to make him relive the same titular day over and over again, until he learns to be a better man. A critical darling, the film was directed by Murray's old Ghostbusters pal Harold Ramis, and is a top-tier Netflix addition.

18 Platoon

While director Oliver Stone is most closely associated nowadays with his penchant for conspiracy theories and being outspoken politically, that doesn't mean his films aren't still by and large brilliant, and worth checking out on Netflix. One of the best is 1986's Platoon, which is based on Stone's own experiences serving in the Vietnam War. The cast is loaded with talent, including Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, Keith David, Forest Whitaker, and even Johnny Depp in an early role. War truly is hell, and Platoon presents that reality more vividly than the vast majority of movies.

17 Taxi Driver

Often cited as one of legendary director Martin Scorsese’s best films, 1976’s Taxi Driver also features one of the greatest performances to come out of the long acting career of Robert De Niro. Written by Paul Schrader, Taxi Driver stars De Niro as Travis Bickle, an already tightly wound Vietnam veteran who finds himself slowly becoming more and more disillusioned with society after witnessing the rampant crime and corruption in New York City. Bickle of course eventually snaps, going on one of cinema’s most infamous violent rampages. Any serious film fan needs to have seen this film, and Netflix is a great way to do it.

Related: Martin Scorsese's 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes

16 Raiders of the Lost Ark

Directed by legendary hit-maker Steven Spielberg, 1981's Raiders of the Lost Ark introduced the world to one of the greatest action/adventure franchises in cinematic history, and also one of cinema's greatest heroes. Harrison Ford stars as Indiana Jones, a university professor professionally, but a crusading archaeologist and adventurer in his off time. In his film debut, Indy outruns giant boulders, punches out giant Nazis, and quests for the fabled biblical artifact known as the Ark of the Covenant. All three Indiana Jones sequels are also now on Netflix.

15 V for Vendetta

Many pieces of dystopian fiction have taken a look at what the residents of a so-called democracy will tolerate in the name of security, and V for Vendetta treads that well-worn path to an extent. Based on a graphic novel written by  comics legend Alan Moore though, the Wachowskis' film manages to inject new life into the idea of a dystopian future. Set in an alternative UK ruled by a neo-fascist regime, V for Vendetta stars Hugo Weaving as the titular enigmatic revolutionary, and Natalie Portman as Evey, who (initially unwillingly) gets sucked into his crusade. This movie is more than worth streaming on Netflix, even if it isn't the 5th of November.

14 Black Panther

After making a celebrated debut in Captain America: Civil War, T'Challa (Chadwick Boseman) got a movie to call his own with colossal 2018 hit Black Panther. To refer to director Ryan Coogler's new to Netflix film as a success would almost be a disservice to just how well it performed, hauling in over $1 billion at the box office, and earning critical raves (97% on RT). While T'Challa was snuffed out by Thanos' snap near the end of Avengers: Infinity War, it's obviously only a matter of time until the King of Wakanda returns.

Related: Black Panther’s Success ‘Emboldened’ Marvel To Pursue More Diverse Movies

13 Gremlins

It really says something about the enduring popularity of director Joe Dante's 1984 hit Gremlins that there's seemingly always talk about a new addition to the franchise, despite no films being made since 1990's Gremlins 2: The New Batch. A seamless blend of comedy, horror, and Christmas, Gremlins introduced the world to the adorable Mogwai known as Gizmo, as well as the malevolent titular creatures that spawn when the rules of Mogwai care are violated. Produced by Steven Spielberg, Gremlins was also one of the films that pushed the limits of the PG rating, leading to the creation of PG-13. It may not be December, but Gremlins is a great year-round Netflix pick.

12 The Sixth Sense

While director M. Night Shyamalan's career hasn't quite lived up to what most expected, his 1999 breakout hit (85% score on RT) The Sixth Sense made such a great first impression that he's arguably been riding its wave ever since. Bruce Willis stars as Dr. Malcolm Crowe, a psychiatrist trying to help troubled young boy Cole (Haley Joel Osment), who is burdened with the ability to see and interact with ghosts. For those wondering, no, the big twist won't be spoiled here, for the small subset of Netflix subscribers who aren't already aware of what it is.

11 Rain Man

One of the many triumphs to come out of the 1980s from director Barry Levinson, Rain Man tells the unlikely story of slick, fast-talking hustler Charlie Babbitt (Tom Cruise, in one of the early roles that proved to audiences that he was capable of far more then headlining popcorn fare like Top Gun), who's shocked to find out his father’s sizable estate is being passed on almost entirely to autistic savant Raymond (Dustin Hoffman), an older brother he never knew he had. A critical darling, Rain Man picked up four Oscars, including Best Picture, and Best Actor for Hoffman. It's a great addition to the Netflix catalog.

Related: Tom Cruise's 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes

10 The Conjuring

One of the creepiest films to grace Netflix, director James Wan's The Conjuring impressed both fans and critics, earning an 86% RT score and making a truckload of money. The Conjuring has since spawned its own cinematic universe of sequels and spinoffs, including about the possessed doll Annabelle. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga star as real life "demonologists" Ed and Lorraine Warren, while Lili Taylor and Ron Livingston play the heads of the family beset by demonic forces.

9 Avengers: Infinity War

Arriving on Netflix just in time for Christmas 2018 is Marvel Studios' MCU blockbuster to end all MCU blockbusters, Avengers: Infinity War. Well, at least until the story continues in 2019's Avengers: Endgame. It's hard to imagine anyone reading this hasn't seen Joe and Anthony Russo's $2 billion-grossing, critically acclaimed hit, but that doesn't mean there''s no reason to stream it again. Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, Josh Brolin, Tom Holland, Scarlett Johansson, and more fill-out Marvel's most star-studded project to date.

8 Schindler's List

An Oscar-darling - winning seven awards, including Best Picture and Best Director for Steven Spielberg - Schindler's List (97% on Rotten Tomatoes) is widely considered one of the greatest films of all time, and it's now on Netflix. However, it's also one of the hardest to watch, as the subject matter is just so incredibly sad. Liam Neeson stars as Oskar Schindler, a German businessman who effectively saved the lives of over a thousand Jews during the Holocaust by employing them in his factories. Ben Kingsley and Ralph Fiennes also star.

Related: Our 10 Favorite Modern Black and White Movies

7 All the President's Men

Considering the modern day scandal surrounding the American presidency, there's never been a better time to revisit the 1976 classic All the President's Men on Netflix. Directed by Alan J. Pakula, All the President's Men shines a spotlight on the real story of reporting duo Bob Woodward (Robert Redford) and Carl Bernstein (Dustin Hoffman), whose work helped expose the truth behind the infamous Watergate scandal, and bring down president Richard Nixon. The film earned eight Oscar nominations, winning four.

6 Thor: Ragnarok

One of the most recent entries into Marvel Studios' MCU canon, director Taika Waititi's Thor: Ragnarok represented a major shift in tone and style from the prior Thor films. Thankfully, this new, sillier version of Thor went over well with the masses, and is an excellent choice for Netflix streaming. Critics also loved it, with the sequel sporting a 92% score on RT. Ragnarok sees Chris Hemsworth's Asgardian hero set out to save his home from Hela (Cate Blanchett), aka the Goddess of Death. Assisting him in this quest are Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), and Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson).

5 Rocky

While all the sequels don't necessarily live up to the greatness of the original, inspirational sports dramas don't really get more inspirational than 1976's Rocky, the movie that made star Sylvester Stallone an icon. Stallone also wrote the script, which concerns small-time boxer Rocky Balboa getting an unexpected shot at world heavyweight champion Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers). Rocky would go on to win Best Picture at the Oscars, and give birth to a franchise that still continues via the Creed films. Rocky II through Rocky V are also available on Netflix.

Read More: All 8 Rocky & Creed Movies Ranked: From 1976 To 2018

4 Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Since 2016, Peter Parker's live-action film incarnation has been swinging under the auspices of Marvel Studios' MCU franchise, but last year, Sony did something outside those bounds, creating an Oscar-winning animated masterpiece called Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. Featuring the voice of Shameik Moore as Miles Morales, Into the Spider-Verse sees an experiment ordered by Kingpin go awry, and rip a hole in reality that allows Spider-people from various alternate universes to journey over to Miles' world. It's then up to the group of heroes to close the rift, and get everyone back to the dimension they belong in.

3 Jackie Brown

The third feature film by director Quentin Tarantino, Jackie Brown is an adaptation of author Elmore Leonard's 1992 novel Rum Punch, and stars blaxploitation legend Pam Grier in the titular role of a stewardess who runs afoul of a crime lord. In many ways a tribute to Grier's classics like Foxy Brown, Jackie Brown's star-studded cast also includes Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton, and Robert De Niro. While not as highly regarded as predecessor Pulp Fiction, critics still loved Jackie Brown, and it’s a prime Netflix pick.

2 Scream

After ruling the 1980s, the slasher subgenre of horror had fallen off big time by the mid-1990s. That was until director Wes Craven came along in 1996 to revitalize it, just as he had in 1984 with A Nightmare on Elm Street. In addition to being a brutal slasher flick, Scream is also one big love letter to horror fans, taking pleasure in both pointing out the cliches of the genre and still indulging in many of them. Scream is also a damn good murder mystery, keeping the viewer guessing as to the identity of the masked Ghostface killer. Those wanting to binge the franchise are out of luck though, as the only sequel Netflix offers is Scream 4.

1 Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Easily one of - if not the - most controversial and divisive entries in the entire Star Wars canon among fans, director Rian Johnson's Star Wars: The Last Jedi was nevertheless a huge hit with critics, earning a stellar 91% score on RT. The sequel also earned huge bank at the box office, hauling in over $1.3 billion worldwide, and easily topping the list of the highest-grossing movies of 2017. Whatever one thinks of The Last Jedi, it's impossible to deny that the film is worth a Netflix watch at least once, in order to be part of the ongoing cultural conversation surrounding it.

More: The 25 Best Movies on Hulu Right Now

source https://screenrant.com/netflix-best-films/

[acsversace-news]

LOS ANGELES—In person, Ryan Murphy is as engrossing as the shows he produces and directs, including the recent “Feud: Bette and Joan” and “The People v. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story.”

Last May, we were in the late Gianni Versace’s lavish Miami mansion named Casa Casuarina. Ryan was shooting crucial scenes for FX’s “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” right where they happened, including the front steps where Fil-Am Andrew Cunanan (played by Darren Criss) shot Versace (Edgar Ramirez) to death.

Penelope Cruz (Donatella Versace) and Ricky Martin (Antonio D’Amico, Versace’s longtime boyfriend) complete the main cast of the series, which airs in early 2018.

Ryan, sitting in one of the rooms with ornately decorated walls and ceilings, dished fascinating details of this Spanish-style mansion, built in 1930 by an oil fortune heir and inspired by Alcázar de Colón, the home of Christopher Columbus’ son in the Dominican Republic.

“There are three levels of the house,” began the Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning creator of “Glee,” “American Horror Story” and “Nip/Tuck.” “There are about 20 rooms. There’s the pool area where Versace would have his famous parties for Naomi Campbell, Madonna, Christy Turlington, Linda Evangelista and Elton John. There’s a room that was apparently Madonna’s favorite suite.”

For Ryan, who started as a journalist, there was no question they had to film in this house. “We bought out the house for two weeks. It was not inexpensive. The interesting thing about this house is that since the day Versace left us and died, nothing has changed except the furniture and the art. Some of it has actually been restored. We got permission.

Soul and sadness

“As soon as Versace was dead, Donatella came and took all of the art, his personal effects and all of that great stuff away. We spent a lot of time and money looking at photos and recreating the stuff that we could.

“I don’t think we could have done it if we weren’t allowed to shoot here, because this house is him. You can feel his soul and the sadness. The pool is just bats**t crazy, with the attention to detail.

“Every day, I’m finding rooms I didn’t know existed. Yesterday, we found a walk-in shower for eight people. So we had to shoot in there (laughs). There’s no place on earth like this house. It’s been a great gift to be here.”

The miniseries is still in production and is filming in other locations.

Excerpts from our talk:

Talk about why you cast Darren Criss, Edgar Ramirez, Ricky Martin and Penelope Cruz. Whenever I do something like this (like “OJ”), I always have one person in mind. So, Darren was the obvious choice. I was friends with him. I wanted people to see something I saw—which was, he’s a great dramatic actor.

In the case of Edgar, he looks exactly like Versace. When we have the prosthetic and the wig, it’s amazing. Edgar has that grandiose gravity as a human being that Versace had. He was my only choice.

Ricky is so soulful and intimate. I’ve worked with him once before. Antonio, the boyfriend, was a tragic figure because he was with Versace for 15 years and loved him. When Versace was killed, he was thrown out of this palace. He had suicide attempts.

So, I met Ricky. At the end of the meeting, we both got teary because he didn’t tell me that he and Edgar were close friends. Edgar wanted Ricky to do this part so bad, but he was not going to tell him, “Do it.”

The thing about Donatella was a little trickier because I obviously adore Gaga. We briefly discussed it, but she was doing “A Star Is Born” with Bradley Cooper. I know Penelope because of Javier Bardem and “Eat Pray Love.” She said “yes” instantly.

In researching on the story, what did you learn about Andrew Cunanan? We had the book that we bought and optioned, “Vulgar Favors” (by Maureen Orth). Cunanan was a mystery in many ways. The things that I was fascinated about are the creator/destroyer idea of Cunanan, and that he and Versace had the same beginning.

They came from immigrant families, and wanted to be famous.

Tragic story

Cunanan was also a tragic story. He was lied to by his parents, specifically his father, who told him they were incredibly wealthy and were almost like royalty in the Philippines.

He was treated like a celebrity in his own family. Then, it was all taken away, and he was shattered by it.

There was also sexual abuse in his family that we could never verify. He also wanted fame and fortune so desperately that when he killed the first victim, that was probably in a fit of pique and rage, he decided, well, I’ll go to jail, so I want to be famous.

Taking the life of a famous person became his fame, which is also a very American story that we see time and again.

Also, the key to this show is when you have somebody like Cunanan, who’s thought of in many circles as a monster and the person who took away Gianni Versace from us, you also have to talk about his childhood. Something along the way made him snap.

What surprised you along the way? The most devastating thing that I learned, because the family doesn’t talk about it, was what was happening with Versace. He had HIV and almost died. At the time, there was no cocktail (AIDS combination treatment). It was a death sentence. But, miraculously, he got his health back.

[But,] Versace was snuffed out instantly with two bullets to the face. That was the really devastating thing to me.

Barbaric, awful

The other thing is the sadness of the victims, how the Lee Miglin (one of Cunanan’s victims) killing was so barbaric, cruel and awful. Miglin was a closeted gay man. He (Cunanan) dressed Miglin up as a woman, with women’s panties and a lot of sex toys around so that his family would find that and be humiliated.

It was a very difficult show to shoot. We spent two days shooting the assassination. I was very upset throughout the filming of that.

How did you structure the story? For this story, the first 15 minutes involve music—opera, no dialogue, and it’s Versace restored to health, and starting his day with his staff, then walking to the News Café, intercut with Cunanan stalking him. So it starts with Versace’s murder.

What we wanted to do was tell the story backwards. So, we end with the Cunanan figure as a young man, and Versace as a young man trying to make a stab of it as a designer.

The interesting thing about this show is that there’s only violence and murder in the first four or five episodes. The last episode, of course, is of Cunanan on the houseboat and making a decision to kill himself before they can arrest him.

Did you have any contact with the Versace family about the show? Donatella has been very kind and lovely. As a mother, she has been protective of her children. That was her only request, which she conveyed to me through Penelope—she really wanted to make sure that her kids weren’t portrayed onscreen and that there was nothing about them in the show.

[chelseaandthediscourse]

Drag vs Trans and how everyone loses

              As I was unable to address it in my presentation, I would like to take the opportunity to use this blog entry to discuss the feud between drag queens and trans women. These are two groups that, decades ago, often shared spaces and common interests, but have since been pushed apart by identity politics. And it is, I believe, this very thing that continues to drive the two groups apart and fuels the animosity between the groups. It is not my intention here to suggest that these two groups should be pushed back together. No, quite the contrary, I would argue that there is an extent to which a firm boundary between the two is useful and perhaps necessary for trans advocacy politics. This boundary may be complicated by the presence of individuals who claim membership in both communities, but, I believe, it does not nullify it nor reduce its necessity to trans advocacy. However, it is not my intention here to address this issue of those who traverse the boundaries, if only because this question quickly becomes one of why people perform drag, a question that is far too complex to attempt to answer within a single blog entry. What I do wish to discuss here is some of the root causes of this feud and to perhaps offer ways that trans women and drag queens can come together as political allies in ways that respect each other’s identities.

              From the perspective of many trans women, one of the root causes is a conception of drag queen performances as being, by their very nature, transmisogynistic. They are not the first to level these kinds of claims against the drag queen community. Writing specifically about black men performing drag, bell hooks argued that drag performances seem “to allow black males to give public expression to a general misogyny.” [1] This is an argument that has been repeated by many cis women in criticism towards drag performance (often without the racial specificity) and trans women critics utilize similar logic. For them, drag queen performances are merely an extension of the man-in-a-dress trope that turns the existence of trans women into a running joke in popular culture. However, to conceive of drag performances as always-already transmisogynistic is an over-simplification. Judith Butler, writing in part in direct response to bell hooks, locates these kinds of arguments on the same continuum as reducing lesbian desire as a product of failed heterosexual love. “This logic of repudiation,” Butler argues, “installs heterosexual love as the origin and truth of both drag and lesbianism, and it interprets both practices as symptoms of thwarted love. But what is displaced in this explanation of displacement is the notion that there might be pleasure, desire, and love that is no solely determined by what it repudiates.” [2] While here we again come again to the question of why drag performers perform drag, my only intention here is to argue that the always-already argument is a simplification that blinds us to the subversive potential of drag that can be used to denaturalize the ideology of gender that perpetuates harm against the trans community.

              But this is not to say that all drag performances are subversive. Butler herself recognizes this when she states “that there is no necessary relation between drag and subversion, and that drag may well be used in the service of both the denaturalization and reidealization of hyperbolic heterosexual gender norms.”[3] Rather, drag performances may reify or subvert gender ideology, or perform in a way that expresses ambivalence between these two options. Jose Esteban Munoz, in his work on disidentification theory, posits that “Commercial drag presents a sanitized and desexualized queer subject for mass consumption … [that] has had no impact on hate legislation put forth by the New Right or on homophobic [or transphobic] violence.” [4] I might add the caveat that the performances to which Munoz is referring have had no positive impact on hate legislation. Certainly, there is a history of mainstream drag performances actively disseminating transphobic discourses (see, for example, RuPaul’s Drag Race), and these may have arguably had a negative impact on the progress for trans rights. But there is a possibility of for drag that subverts. I think, again, here of Munoz’s work, in which he examines the drag performances of Vaginal Crème Davis, quoting her as saying, “I didn’t wear false eyelashes or fake breasts. It wasn’t about the realness of traditional drag – the perfect flawless makeup. I just put on a little lipstick, a little eye shadow and a wig and went out there.” [5] Further, I think of the film Madame Sata, in which the protagonist performs drag with no regard to passing, fully displaying their typically male coded body.[6] These performances subvert through highlighting the performative nature of gender, removing femininity as always-already attached to female coded bodies. I do not wish to posit this kind of drag as the only way in which to perform subversively, but only as one option.

              Here it becomes necessary to address the drag queen community specifically, because it is my belief that the drag community has a responsibility here. Stephen Schacht and Lisa Underwood, in their study of the culture of female impersonators, argue “that any meaningful models of what is subversive must take into account an actor’s explicit intent, the audiences for whom she/he performs, and dialectic between the two.”[7] I have to agree with this. And while, of course, no drag performer can be held responsible for how the audiences read their performances, I do believe it is their responsibility, to cis and trans women, to examine their intentions and their performances and make an active attempt to not reproduce harmful ideology, if not to actively attempt to be subversive. Perhaps more importantly, this responsibility does not stop at the boundaries of one’s own intentions and performances. While perhaps most drag performances that are culpable in perpetuating discourse that harms trans women do so unintentionally and/or out of unexamined intent, there are those who actively and knowingly perpetuate them. In an examination of the drag queens of the 801 Cabaret by Verta Taylor and Leila Rupp, the performers express their worry over one of their own exploring the possibility of identifying as transgender, stating that to do so “means you’ve lost your identity.”[8] A similar sentiment is expressed by Pepper Labeija in the documentary Paris is Burning. In the film, Labeija speaks at length of their belief that being transgender is “taking it a little too far” and expresses thankfulness that they were smart enough to never have a sex change.[9] These kinds of sentiments seem to be rampant within the drag community (see, again, RuPaul’s Drag Race), and any drag queen that wants to be an ally to the trans community has a responsibility to call out their fellow performers for perpetuating these ideas.

              Lest we place all the blame of drag queens, however, trans women have a responsibility to drag queens as well. As discussed, a large part of the animosity coming from trans women towards drag queens is the idea that their performances are inherently transmisogynistic. Stemming from that is the belief that their performances are helping to perpetuate the common belief amongst the general public that drag queen and trans woman are synonymous terms and that the latter are, like the former, (typically) men performing a role. But, as has also been stated, drag queens cannot be held responsible for how the audience reads their performances. Given the deeply entrenched nature of binary gender ideology, even the most subversive performances will still be read by some in ways that reify strict and essentializing gender norms. Trans women must understand that the onus of dispelling these ideologies is not on drag queens. As an extension of that, I do believe that there is an extent to which this feud is fueled by some akin to jealousy. The simple, sad fact is that drag queens have, by and large, reached a much higher level of acceptance in mainstream culture. There are those, I have met them, who love drag shows and refer to drag queens as she/her, but will not give trans women basic human respect. This is not the fault of the drag queen, nor is it a reason to attack the performer or the performance. Trans women, stop displacing your aggravation with a transphobic public on drag queens.

              This is a very complex topic for a relatively small amount of discussion. I have not endeavored here to solve the feud in its entirety. Rather, my hope here is to have highlighted some of what I believe are the major causes for this feud and offer some ways in which both parties can work towards ending it, possibly towards working concurrently to change gender ideology that harms both groups. As members of the wider LGBTQ+ community, there is, I feel, every reason why these groups should be working together instead of against one another, but we have to stop needlessly fighting each other first.

[1] bell hooks. (2008). Is Paris Burning? Reel to Real: Race, Sex, and Class at the Movies (pp. 275-90). New York, NY: Routledge.

[2] Butler, J. (1993). Gender is Burning: Questions of Appropriation and Subversion. Bodies That Matter: On The Discursive Limits of “Sex”. (pp. 121-40). New York, NY: Routledge.

[3] Butler, J.

[4] Munoz, J. E. (1999). Disidentifications: Queers of Color and the Performance of Politics. Minneapolis, MN: The University of Minnesota Press.

[5] Munoz, J.E.

[6] Ainouz, K. (2002). Madame Sata [motion picture]. Brazil: VideoFilmes.

[7] Schact, S.P. & Underwood, L. (2004). The Absolutely Fabulous but Flawlessly Customary World of Female Impersonators. Journal of Homosexuality, 46(¾), pp 1-17. DOI 10.1300/J082v46n03_01

[8] Taylor,V. & Rupp, L.J. (2004). Chicks With Dicks, Men In Dresses: What It Means to Be a Drag Queen. Journal of Homosexuality, 46(¾), pp. 113-33. DOI 10.1300/J082v46n03_07 

[9] Livingston, J. (1990). Paris is Burning [motion picture]. U.S.: Miramax

[theprocrastinatingalien]

5th October 2018 - Aquaman out, Venom in.

What's the deal with 5th October 2018?  First we hear news that Warner Bros. are pushing AQUAMAN out of that spot, and almost immediately, we find out that Sony are putting in VENOM!?

AQUAMAN will star Jason Momoa as the titular hero, following on from a cameo in BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE, and a much larger role in JUSTICE LEAGUE.  It'll also star Amber Heard as Mera, William Dafoe as Nuidis Velko (both of whom will be getting screen time in the JL movie).  They'll all be joined by Patrick Wilson as Ocean Master, with roles for Nicole Kidman and Temuera Morrison.

AQUAMAN will now be released two months later on 21st December.  Happy Christmas 2018!

But bigger news, however, is Sony's announcement on the VENOM film.  A solo film surrounding the Venom character was on the slate when Sony were building their own cinematic universe orbiting THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN.  Along with plans for THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 3 & 4, and  SINISTER SIX movie, it was thrown out following the disappointing outing that was THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2.

As everyone knows, Spidey has now been rebooted for the third time this side of the millennium, with Tom Holland donning the suit, following on from the likes of Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire.  Of course, this new Spidey gets to hang out with his pals from the MCU, having already appeared in CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR, and this year will see Holland's first solo appearance in SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING - although he will be joined by Avenger Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr).  A sequel has already been greenlit for a 2019 release.

However, word is this VENOM film won't connect to Holland's Spider-Man.  Which is a little odd.  It suggests that Marvel don't have the rights to the character, but it also means the character can't mingle with the big guns - and that's a little sad.  The character is very popular, and perhaps doesn't need to - but it'd be nice for the option to be there.  Of course, the oddest part of it is that he won't share screentime with the webslinger.  That doesn't make sense to me.

Still, that doesn't mean it won't be a good film.  I guess we'll find out next year!  We'll be looking out for casting news (Topher Grace played the character in SPIDER-MAN 3) and whether Sony will announce any other characters for their own films.  How about Spider-Gwen?

[hamilficsfordays]

New Beginning—Chapter Six: Manipulation

Disclaimer: I don’t know Lin, nor do I know any of his friends or family.

Also posted on Ao3

Summary: The plan to have Alexa return is finally put into motion.

Rating: M for language, mentions of cutting/self-harming

Words: 4824

Askbox / Masterlist / Chapter Five / Chapter Seven

Later that same evening, Lin was in his office with a blank document open on his computer.

Vanessa was stood behind him, hands on his shoulders, carefully feeding him instructions.

“You’re going to write a letter expressing your heartfelt thoughts on the situation. But it has to be sad.”

“You want it to be sad?”

She nodded. “It needs to be sadder than an animal adoption commercial. Then you’re going to read it during curtain call one night to the Hamilton audience. Whoever runs social media for the show will film it and put it online. It’ll make people sympathetic. That’s just what we need them to be when we anonymously send those documents to the press. That sympathy will turn into public outcry at the first sight of injustice. Nothing puts self-entitled bitches like Janine on their ass faster than a group of execs forcing her to handle angry donors who are demanding answers.”

“You really think that’ll work?”

“Trust me.” she kissed his cheek. “Put your heart and soul into this and she’ll be back here in no time.”

For a while, Lin hesitated to write anything. He could think of plenty of things that he wanted to write, but nothing seemed to want to come out. Everything was second guessed. Would it be sincere enough? Would it gain sympathy? Most of all: would it get her back?

Eventually, he gave up on trying to appeal to others. He wrote exactly what he was feeling; the pain, the frustration, the heartache.

He printed it out before heading to bed in the hope it would be just enough to get the job done.

-

At curtain call the following night, Lin bowed with his cast before pulling a paper out of his sleeve.

“If I could just have another minute of your time,” he asked of the crowd, applause dying down.

He opened the paper, beginning to read aloud. Behind him, the cast knew of his intentions and was eager to show their support. In the audience, cell phones were pulled out, eagerly awaiting what came next.

“I wanted to take time this evening to talk about how incredibly grateful I am to work alongside a tremendous cast every night. I truly believe that they push me further every day. They’re my family away from home.” he paused for just a moment, looking back at the cast who encouraged him to continue.

“While I’m so grateful for my family here, I know my family at home gets no standing ovation at the end of each night for being who they are, though they totally deserve it.”

The crowd chuckled at the notion.

“My amazing wife works hard day in and day out, pushing herself every day for me and our two kids—truly the best of wives and best of women.”

There was applause.

“My son Sebastian inspires me every day with his views of the world around us. He is truly a reminder that the greatest thing we can honor is the child in all of us.”

More applause.

“My daughter,” his voice cracked as he choked back tears, the audience erupting in applause. “One of the smartest, most incredible people I’ve ever met. Her strength, her passion is above all else. I look to her for ways to better myself each and every day. She has—” he paused, unable to hold back tears. The audience applauded again, Renee stepping in to finish the note for him. She continued.

“She has been and continues to be the most astonishing source of hope since my wife and I brought her into our lives less than a month ago. Recently, she was pulled rather abruptly from our lives for extenuating circumstances, but that doesn’t change how prominently she’s affected me or my family. I only hope that wherever she is at this very moment, she knows how much my wife and I love and miss her.”

Renee was brought to tears this time.

“I would not be standing before you today—that is to say, Hamilton would not exist without my family.”

More applause. The audience was on their feet, Lin smiling through his tears as Renee continued.

“If I could ask you to do anything this evening, it would be to go hug your loved ones, tell them that they’re loved and appreciated. I certainly know I’m going to do the same.”

More applause erupted as the cast headed off-stage. Lin changed out of his costume and prepared to head outside and sign autographs at the stage door. On his way out, he received multiple texts from Vanessa who commended him on his work.

[It’s already all over twitter. I’ve never seen so many crying emojis. You nailed it.]

[If everything goes right, this should be national news by tomorrow morning.]

They were both up early the next morning. Lin was feeding Sebastian in the kitchen while Vanessa was in the living room, dressed for work, changing the channel from one news outlet to the other. Several of them were fixated on last night’s events, just as Vanessa had expected.

“It’s working!” She called out. “I’m almost kind of upset that the public is so easily manipulated! What’s going to happen on election day next year?”

“Did you hear back from Claudia yet?” he prompted changing the concerning subject. “Isn’t that the next step in this plan?”

“She hasn’t gotten ahold of me ye—” As if on command, her phone rang. It was Claudia, likely with news regarding their situation. She moved to Lin’s side, putting the call on speaker so they both could hear.

“Claudia? What happened?”

“¡Ay Dios Mio! I got it!” she exclaimed. “I have a bag full of everything that was in her shredder.”

“Perfect! Bring it here tonight and we can start putting things together.”

As she hung up the phone, she caught the slightest glimpse of a smile on Lin’s face.

“I know you work tonight, but when you get back, you’re gonna have to help us sort through all of that shredded paper.”

“I miss her.” he seemed rather distracted as he wiped the remaining food off of Sebastian’s face.

“It’s only a matter of time before she’s back.” V pointed out. “I’m surprised that you’re not more excited.”

“I wonder what she’s doing right now.”

“She probably heard about your speech and is in tears like everyone else.”

-

“If you take a medication, please line up at the door.”

Hamilton biography in hand, Alexa stood in line by the med clinic and waited to receive her medication. Her usual pediatric dosage of Zoloft typically kept most of her symptoms of depression, anxiety, and PTSD at bay, but lately, it wouldn’t be enough.

When she reached the door, she swiftly hid the pill behind her teeth, swallowing the cup of water that came after. They checked her mouth to confirm it was gone, before moving along to the next person.

Once she was back in the main hall, she pretended to cough, placing the pill in her hand so it could be carefully thrown out when no one was looking.

In hindsight, it wasn’t the brightest idea to not be taking her meds. She’d been voluntarily doing it since her return to the orphanage; though she couldn’t keep any pills down during her stay in the hospital anyway.

She felt more on edge, that was for sure, but at the moment it was the only way she could protest her current situation. She almost hoped to snap, putting the people who had sent her back into the system through hell. That, and losing her mind enough to not remember how badly she missed Lin would be the best case scenario.

She approached an empty table and began quietly trying to read the Hamilton biography. The book was hidden under the table to avoid another page-tearing incident.

The noise from the TV at the end of the hall distracted her, however, as it was especially loud that morning. She got up, headed toward the group huddled around the tv to complain.

“Could you turn that shit down?” she demanded, glancing at the screen. “No want wants to hear your—”

Her sentence was cut short, her words suddenly missing at the sight of Lin, onstage in his final costume, on the screen.

“My daughter…“

His speech was moving, something she had come to expect from Lin. As Renee finished the speech, some of the others surrounding the tv screen turned to look at her. She realized her mouth was hanging open in disbelief.

His words sounded so final. It almost felt like he knew something that she didn’t know.

Like maybe there actually was a chance she would never see him again.

The thought haunted her as she rushed to Claudia’s office upstairs, only to discover that she wasn’t there.

“Alexa… you’re not allowed to be up here.” Instead, she was greeted by Janine, who was stepping out of her office.

“I need to speak to my case manager,” Alexa demanded. “It’s an emergency.”

“Well, she’s not here today.” Janine attempted to move her back toward the stairs.

“Probably desperately trying to find a new job.”

“New job? What new job?”

“That’s none of your concern. Why don’t you head back downstairs?”

“I want to speak to someone about my case with the Miranda family.” the teen stood her ground. She was determined to not be moved until she got answers.

“That case has been nullified.”

“Wait, what? According to Claudia it was still being reviewed—”

“If you’d like, I can have someone discuss your options for aging out. It’s unlikely that another foster family will be looking to take you in at your age.”

“You can’t just tell me the case has been nullified and not explain why! I deserve to know what’s happening—”

“I appreciate your admiration, but I’m afraid it’s irrelevant. The Miranda household has been deemed unfit for foster care children. Now if you’ll just head back downstairs—”

“But you can’t do this! They were the nicest people I’ve ever—”

“Miss Jordan, if you don’t move back downstairs, I’m going to have to call the authorities.”

Being black in America was difficult enough without the police getting involved to make a bad situation worse. Alexa seceded, frustrated, feeling tears well up in her eyes as she headed downstairs. She angrily wiped them away.

In a way, this felt expected, like just another day of the foster care system letting her down. She was supposed to be used to this feeling, but somehow it hurt ten times as bad in this case.

She negated heading back to the large room with everyone else, instead of ducking into a corner at the bottom of the staircase.

Her heart was pounding as she sunk to the floor and tried to catch her breath.

The anxiety attack was coming on faster than she could handle. Her meds typically slowed things down when she got too panicked, but without them, she couldn’t handle what was coming next.

This was it.

She’d never see him again.

She didn’t even really get to say goodbye.

For the first time since her return to the orphanage, she felt alone.

Not just in the system, but in this world.

There was an impulse driving her that she couldn’t control without meds.

It drove her back to her bed, where hidden somewhere in her dresser was a half-full package of plastic shaving razors. She pulled one out, snapping the plastic at the top and pulling a small blade out with ease.

It wasn’t her first time trying this.

The blade was unused, making it easy to cut through her skin.

Both of her forearms were covered in open wounds before the door to the room burst open, a female, middle-aged staff member coming inside.

“You know you’re not allowed to be here during the daytime—What are you doing?!”

Alexa could feel her cheeks turning red, her shame rising as the woman caught sight of all the blood.

-

That night, Claudia, Vanessa, and Lin were sat on the floor of his office going through the thousands of shredded pieces of paper in the hope of finding Alexa’s documents and putting them back together.

They slaved over Chinese takeout, working through the night. As pages started piecing together, Vanessa began to notice a negative pattern.

“Wow… there’s a lot of questionable shit in here.” She pulled some of the half-pages out. “Public funding being put toward hotel stays in Miami, the rent on a penthouse in the financial district… not to mention there are documents shredded from the files of other kids. I honestly wish we were able to sue this woman… there’s enough here to put her away for a long time.”

“Let’s focus on getting what we need.” Lin reminded her. “Alexa is the most important part of this. If we can cost Janine her job after the fact—”

“It’s a bonus.” Vanessa finished.

Hours passed. It was an ungodly hour in the morning before Claudia began to raise concerns.

“Aye, there’s so much here. I’m worried we won’t have everything we need in time.”

“We’re going to need all night at this rate. This is more than I expected.”

“I haven’t found a single document with her name on it.” Whether it be from exhaustion, lack of progress or both, Lin seemed defeated. “What if this was all for nothing?”

“This was not all for nothing.” V took his hand, lacing their fingers together. “We’re gonna fix this, okay? Trust me.”

“You haven’t even entertained the possibility that this won’t work.” he insisted. “It might not.”

“That sounds like a waste of time. Lin, we’ve been together for ten years. Have I ever been wrong about this kind of thing?”

“Not really.”

“Exactly. Please trust me on this.” she kissed him. “I’m confident everything will work out.”

-

By sunrise, they’d put all of the pieces together. They made copies of the once-shredded pages with plans to expose them by the end of the day.

“Shouldn’t we just give it to them now?” Lin questioned as Claudia left that morning. “Most morning shows are on until noon. We could get the news out now and by the end of the day, everyone will know.”

“What, so they can squeeze the story between back-to-school fashion shows and the latest superfood?” Vanessa compiled the copies, stapling each set together and sliding them each into a manila envelope. “No one will take it seriously if it’s morning news. Anyone who watches the morning news is either up at five am on their way to work and too tired to care, or willfully unemployed and watching mid-morning. This needs to be evening news. Then they’ll be all over it. People tend to be annoyed after a long day at work and a frustrating commute home. They’ll be more likely to get angry about something like this.”

“That sounds manipulative.” he pointed out.

“Of course it is. I’m a lawyer. This entire plan works because the public is so easily manipulated. Why do you think I told you to make your speech so emotional?”

Lin was quiet for a moment.

“It’s been a long night. You should get some rest. I can call my mom and ask her to look after Sebastian. I’m going to get ready for work.”

“I should take Tobillo for a walk first.”

“Okay.” She kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

-

At one, Vanessa headed out for a lunch break claiming to be meeting a client. Instead, she took the train up to midtown to deliver a few copies of their records. First to NBC News, then Fox, ABC, CNN and New York 1. At each location, she refused to give a name. She left the documents with a receptionist who would inevitably hand them off to someone else.

By the time she’d returned to the office around four, the news was already beginning to break. There were a few online articles that had gained traction on social media, only scratching the surface of the whole story. By the time she’d gotten home around six, every evening news show had latched on.

“Coming up tonight, potential corruption within the foster care system here in New York City. Why one particular family who recently had a foster child unjustifiably removed from their home has been told to Wait For It in regards to their return, only to find out that the case they were in the middle of had been nullified.”

“I hope you’re ready for an egregious amount of bad puns based on Hamilton lyrics.” she told Lin, who was quietly watching the tv from the loveseat.

The news led to an outcry on social media, where the hashtag #givebacktheirgirl sparked public outrage over the incident. Just as Vanessa had predicted, people were upset by the news and had plans to fight back. Protests began downtown near the orphanage. As the movement gained more traction, some of the organization’s private donors began to express their displeasure with the situation.

When Janine headed into her office the next morning, she was greeted by Jonathan Daley, the owner of the organization.

“Mr. Daley,” she stopped short on the way to her office. “I didn’t expect to see you, sir—”

“Ms. Bryan, we need to speak immediately.” He opened the door to her office for her, stepping inside. “This is not good.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you’re referring to.”

Jonathan took Janine’s usual seat behind her own desk, leaving Janine to sit on the other side of her desk like a guest in her own office. His suit was worth more than any item of clothing she owned, and he wore that fact rather well.

“We’ve received several calls from benefactors who are furious with the news of our history with the Miranda family. When I attempted to examine the case for more details, I was told the case had been nullified by you. Why is that?”

“I—I don’t—”

“The information released by the media included copies of clearly shredded documents from that girl’s file. What explanation do you have for that?”

“Sir, it was that case manager, Claudia. She shredded the documents to—”

“I don’t care who’s fault it is. You need to fix this.” He stood up, heading towards the door. “So far, this has all been traced back to you which means it’s your responsibility to take care of it. If we lose even a single donor because of this, it’ll be on you.”

“What do you expect me to do?!”

“Keep the public outcry to a minimum. If that means pulling her out of that pediatric psych ward and putting her back with the Miranda family, do it. Honestly, I don’t see why you didn’t do that in the first place.”

“I was trying to save us money by keeping enough children in the system—”

“Saving money?” he stopped just short of leaving, turning back to her. “The money we’ll lose if donors start backing out will be a hundred times what we’re making by keeping one person here. Still think that you’re helping us?”

Janine was silent.

“Fix it. Immediately.”

The door slammed shut behind him.

-

This wasn’t Alexa’s first time in a pediatric psych ward.

As per usual, she was one of the least fucked up people there.

They’d stuck her in a room with a fourteen-year-old white girl who was anorexic, constantly staring at herself in the mirror over the sink. Her blue hospital gown gave the slightest impression that she was bigger than she was, which was not very big.

“You’re like, ninety pounds Alyssa, stop fucking staring at yourself. It’s not gonna make you any thinner.”

The girl turned to glare at her, still in bed in the middle of the day, before refocusing on herself in the mirror.

Alexa sighed, rubbing her eyes. There were bandages wrapped each of her forearms that she always managed to forget about until the skin under the bandages itched and she couldn’t reach it.

A boy that was about their age popped his head into the open door.

“Why is rape illegal?!” he demanded before a nurse pulled him back.

“Oh, that’s nice.” Alexa rolled her eyes. “Just the friendly reminder I needed on top of this shitty situation.”

“Girls, lunch is here. Come eat.” Another nurse peeked her head.

“I can’t eat, I’m like three hundred pounds!” Alyssa insisted.

“Alyssa, do you need to see a doctor?” the nurse reminded her. Defeated, Alyssa headed out of the room and down the hall toward the dining room.

“Can I please not sit next to that kid who set his parents on fire again?” Alexa asked the nurse on her way out. “He always stares at me like I’m his next victim.”

“If he touches you, let one of our nurses know.” she reminded the teen.

She grabbed her tray and sat at the table beside the fire kid. As per usual, he glared at her without a word.

Her discharge couldn’t come fast enough.

-

“I’m so glad you two could meet on such short notice.”

The next day, Janine had managed to get both Vanessa and Lin into her office. They sat beside one another on the other side of her desk, quiet, listening.

“I believe there’s been some kind of misunderstanding here. I think we got off on the wrong foot. There was an accidental nullification of your file that I take complete responsibility for. I’m willing to have Alexa returned to your household. As long as you comply with your case manager and there are no other incidents, you should be able to keep her through the duration of the year and then decide if you’d like to adopt or not. Just a few Hamilton tickets and a promise not to sue and she’s all yours.” Janine put on her best fake smile, hoping she had them convinced.

The looks on their faces, however, said otherwise.

“You and I both know that the higher ups here are putting pressure on you to make this disappear.” Vanessa leaned forward, metaphorically going in for the kill. “Your donors are threatening to back out and that would put you out of a job, Janine. A lawsuit would drag this out for another year or two. How about you give Alexa back, you don’t get any Hamilton tickets, and you pray that I don’t go through with that lawsuit.”

Lin smiled wide for the first time in a long time, fist-bumping his wife for her successful intimidation.

“Fine.”

“Oh, and Claudia keeps her job and stays assigned to this case,” she added. “If you’re not going to get fired, she definitely shouldn’t be.”

“Agreed.” Janine nodded once. “Talk to Claudia, but you should be able to get her back after she’s released from the hospital the day after tomorrow.”

Their smiles faded.

“Wasn’t she released from the hospital like a week ago?” he questioned.

“It’s a minimum three day stay for self-harming behavior. There was an incident two days ago.”

“Which you’ll be disclosing to us in full, of course.” Vanessa clarified.

“That’s not my job. Talk to Claudia. She knows more about this than I do.”

The couple glanced at each other briefly.

“Is she in today?”

-

“I was going to tell you, pending your meeting with Janine went well. I’m assuming it did.”

They had relocated to Claudia’s office shortly afterward.

“She won’t be bothering any of us anymore,” Vanessa confirmed.

“What happened to Alexa?” Lin wasted no time moving back to the topic at hand. “Is she okay?”

“She is now, yes. She’ll have to be held in the hospital until Friday. One of our staff caught her with a blade and her arms had open wounds, so they considered it an act to self-harm and admitted her to a pediatric psych ward.”

Lin felt the breath in his lungs leave all at once.

“Why would she do that? She never did that when she was with us.”

“She has a history of self-harming,” Claudia reminded him. “… but it typically only occurred under abusive care. This was probably part of a reaction to not being around you two anymore—that is, assuming you treated her as well as she claimed.”

Lin instinctively reached out for Vanessa’s hand, squeezing it for support.

“You’ll still be able to see her on Friday,” she assured them. “I would keep a watchful eye on her behavior if you can, though. If she does or says anything that seems out of character to you, let me know. As long as we communicate, something like this should never have to happen again.”

-

By Friday, Alexa’s method of getting rid of her meds (harder at the hospital though not impossible), had proven to be a bad idea. Her anxiety was through the roof, and every time another patient screamed, which happened relatively often, she was rather disturbed by the sound.

At the announcement of her discharge, she had never been more excited to see Claudia and be on the other side.

Claudia greeted her outside the psych ward with a smile.

“How are you feeling?”

“Not saying that I’m looking forward to the orphanage, but anything is better than that.”

“You’re not going back there,” Claudia informed her, gesturing to the bag of Alexa’s things in her hand. “Come with me.”

Curious, Alexa followed her down to the lobby of the mental health center.

In the lobby, Lin was trying to contain his excitement as he waited for Claudia to return. Every time one of the elevator doors opened, he glanced over eagerly only to find someone else.

Finally there she was; Alexa by her side. There were huge bags under her eyes and bandages wrapped around each of her forearms, but he’d never been so happy to see her.

He watched as she caught sight of him, nearly sprinting in his direction.

She practically jumped into his arms. He caught her without hesitation, kissing the top of her head.

“Oh my god, what the fuck?! I thought I would never see you again! What are you doing—” she paused, stepping back. “Please tell me you’re here for me and not someone else.”

He laughed. “Yes, I’m here for you. You’re coming back to the heights with us.”

She hugged him again. “Oh my god… you scared me so much! What was with that speech you made?! It sounded like you knew you’d lost me! It scared the shit out of me!”

“Believe it or not, it actually helped get you back. Sorry for scaring you, though.”

Claudia carefully handed him the bag of her things.

“Take care of her.” she reminded him.

“Okay, first thing’s first, I’m going to take you out for lunch,” Lin announced once they’d left the hospital. “Anywhere you want to go. Vanessa won’t be home until later, and my mom is watching Sebastian, so we’ve got the afternoon to ourselves.”

“We should probably go pick up a prescription first,” she confessed. “There’s a slight chance that I’ve been tossing my meds since I left you guys.”

Lin sighed.

“Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad. I’m glad you told me right away. Meds first, food second. Then when we get home, we should probably give you a new set of bandages.” he directed to her forearms.

“Yeah…” she glanced down at her arms. “Things kind of got fucked up when you left.”

“It’s okay if things get fucked up.” he reminded her. “Just as long as you’re ready to fix them. That starts with taking your meds every day.”

She nodded. “I can agree to that.”